Black's Delilah
by queenofapology
Summary: Marauder's Era, Sirius Black/OC (NC-17)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** This entire story contains characters, settings, and worlds all designed by J.K. Rowling (except for OCs) and I do not claim any creative authority or ownership over them. Nor do I seek profit.

 **Warning:** This story contains a shit-ton of foul language, smut, and scenes of offensive nature. Please don't read if you don't feel comfortable with any of the adult themes listed.

 __ **Beginning**

It wasn't an instant attraction for Fern. She didn't want to fuck the lights out of his mind when she first set eyes on him. Of course they were only eleven, but still. She didn't even really know who he was since her mum was a Muggle. She had no idea that the boy was practically wizarding royalty. The ancient and noble House of Black. Blood as old as magic. He was just a solemn looking child as if he thought his blood was cursed. Fern had thought that if they went to a Muggle school together, the other children would shun him for looking so . . . well, witch-y. But not here. Not at Hogwarts. There's truly nowhere else Sirius Black belonged.

Perhaps it was their fifth year that she really took his daunting looks seriously. Joined to his new Gryffindor family (QUITE the scandal, Fern was explained to), Sirius had dropped his upper class inherited solemnity and adopted a Rebel-Without-A-Cause one. He could hang with the peasants now, it seemed. So fashionably untouchable. She couldn't help but notice him now, along with every other girl in Hogwarts.

However the difference between Fern and every other girl in Hogwarts was-

Fern didn't shy away from what she wanted.

It was towards the end of their fifth year when they first met and touched. The end of a victorious Gryfindor match against Ravenclaw led to the group of sweaty winners surrounded by their peers. Fern stood quite the distance away, leaning against the wooden stands with her arms folded. She was originally waiting for her mate to finish up her session with a Ravenclaw in nearby Slytherin stand. She used this opportunity to observe the Gryffindor prince without causing suspicion. Black and a teammate had their beaming chaser sitting on their shoulders. Did he know that his existence meant the succession of genetically pure magic? Did he know his existence was historically significant? Fascinating, Fern thought.

Sirius's intuition made him aware of the gaze fallen intensely in their direction. He found the culprit donned in colors that didn't make her identifiable to one of Hogwart's four houses. She was leaning against the stands with an indifference that matched a teenage boy's. Her expression was stoic and unreadable. No admiration, desire, or hatred. He left her out his mind as the team dutifully marched to their locker room. Fern waited and watched the group of Gryffindors celebrated their way off the pitch, leaving a few stragglers to idly chat on the field. She could faintly hear Abithica's muted pants of pleasure somewhere in the darkness of the bleachers.

"Alright?" the infamous Black, himself, asked as he approached her now out of his Quidditch uniform.

"Yeah, alright," Fern nodded to him. Her voice was deeper than he expected which was a nice departure from the soprano sounds of the Gryffindor females he was accustomed to being around.

"Sirius," he offered his open hand to her. She stared at it for a moment before grabbing it. When Sirius reflects back on this meeting, he always remembered how taken aback he was at her slackened hand in his. He allowed her to be the one to give their hands a gentle shake so he didn't disrupt her gentle gesture.

"Fern," she replied coolly. The corner of her lips tugged upward as she realized they were still gripping hands after a few seconds. She gave a sideways glance to the direction in which he originally came from. "Is it less crowded over there?" she gave a subtle jerk of the head towards the locker room.

"That's not why I came over," Sirius gave her a look of subdued mirth, almost to mock her assumption.

"I know," she replied, tossing a careless shoulder upwards whilst tugging on the hand still clasped around hers. Their hands naturally slipped away, but Sirius couldn't stop following the girl with a bush for a name. Her confidence somehow entrapped him into dutifully trailing behind her into his own locker room as if he was a guest in her home. He saw her walk deeper into the dark cold room until she stopped against a wall, staring at him from afar. Sirius Black would also fondly remember this first meeting as the second time ever (and probably favorite ever) receiving a blow job.

Now it should be said that Fern doesn't enact fellatio on just anybody (or even significant others for that matter). But there was something so electric about Sirius Black, not simpering shyly, but stalking over to her predatorily to capture her mouth with his. She equally met his lips with the same vigor if not more as she gripped his hair passionately. She gave a breathy smile and closed her eyes when he mouth hungrily dragged down her jaw and to her neck. Fern gave a shudder as his fervent cold lips ravaged her until she caught his mouth again. With a swift movement, she moved her hands away from his face and to the front of his jeans. She pivoted them so that his back way against the locker wall. Unbuttoning and zipping them open with adept fingers, she slipped down to her knees, to Sirius's immense surprise. For a moment he hesitated in fear that she was feeling forced to, as if this was his intention, but when Sirius saw the lack of hesitation in her face when she pulled him out, he began to experience excitement. There was something so erotic about simply her eye contact before engulfing him into her mouth that made him moan. But he was a teenage boy. A simple breeze on a lonely night would do that.

"Fuck," he breathed as she painstakingly dragged her tongue underneath the length of him. Personally, Fern's least favorite sexual act was a blow job, but in the moment she got so carried away that she bestowed him with a small gift. She also enjoyed the power of making this princely boy weak for her in that moment. Sirius's breath started to become ragged as she pumped him faster and faster in her mouth, bringing him over the edge when she finally looked up at him for the last few moments. Knees buckling, Sirius slid down to the floor with her when she slid her lips off him. Closing his eyes he leaned his head back against the wall to try to retrieve some control. When he opened his eyes, Fern was leaning against one hand, legs tucked to the side, her other hand dabbing at her mouth to make sure all was clean.

"Er," Sirius began trying to fill the silence with something. Fern, amused, watched his face contort into discomfort. She emitted a charming laugh, and with a roll of her eyes pushed her lips against Sirius's. Though confused, his lips automatically puckered to welcome her mouth. When she pulled away with a smirk, she was also moving to stand up.

"Later," she gave him a friendly grin and walked out of the locker room leaving Sirius Black stunned.


	2. Chapter 2

And thus, it began.

Sirius at first had searched for her for the remainder of their fifth year every time he sat down for a meal in the Great Hall. It didn't help that some of the girls' faces started to blend together within the first few weeks and the sheer amount of students crammed in the Hall was impossible to sift through. Kids were always filtering in and out at different speeds as well as facing their backs to Sirius.

Sirius, only 16 for the rest of his summer after the incident, had run away from home that year. He divorced from his home, his family, and his name. The threat of war was incredibly real and as he started to reach of age, Sirius knew he wasn't safe in the world of the Blacks. No wizard was truly safe in the world of the Blacks. It was a world of bloodshed and murder. Sirius would live there no more. He lived homeless for a week until his best friend, James Potter, found out. James's mother was livid and grounded Sirius for two weeks (much to Sirius's delight). Sirius had allowed Fern to slip from his mind and his new life. He chalked the incident up to a very, _very_ lucky day. That is, until he returned to Hogwarts.

He recognized her immediately. The other faces that he confused her with previously seemed so obviously not her, now. There she was. She didn't wear a skirt like the other girls, but trousers like the boys and cuffed the bottom so they hung slack slightly above her ankles. Her white shirt was unbuttoned from the top, slightly untucked from the front, and without tie. She lacked the grey sweater that practically everyone wore, but donned the uniformly black robe, however open from the front. She was leaning against the now fixed Hogwart's Express, pelvis slightly jutted out, surrounded by three other girls forming a semi-circle around her, chatting casually.

"Mind the gap there lad," a voice chimed before he was knocked into roughly and dragged along by James Potter. Sirius, with a wry grin, allowed himself to be hauled along not before casting a backwards glance. To his surprise, Fern was staring at him, unmoved, with a clever look on her face. Sirius turned back and with a bark of a laugh, he ceremoniously looked up at his true home while approaching the carriages.

Fern didn't expect to feel the same fascination burning in her when she laid eyes on now Sixth year Sirius Black. She was slightly jarred if not irritated that her little stint in the Gryffindor locker room didn't satiate her fascination.

"Alright Fern?"

She only half-grinned back in response to the blonde Gryffindor, Elsie.

"Did any of you have a peep at that Peter Pettigrew?" Elsie's Scottish drawl changed the conversation. Fern made the first move and lifted herself off the train so they could head toward the castle. "I could work with that," the blonde practically purred.

"Is he still with that pretty Hufflepuff girl? What's her name?" Kenna, a Ravenclaw who occasionally chatted with the group, asked Fern and Abithica. Fern shrugged and looked at her Housemate.

"Dunno. We're sixth years now. Wouldn't be surprised if they're donezo. Everything's different innit?" Abithica chortled.

"Yeah, now you've got only the seventh years to pork," Elsie quipped to which Abithica smirked. Everyone knew that Abithica went for the older lads.

"Oy Kenna! How's your summer been without me," a sixth year Ravenclaw and his two mates joined the four, slinging his arm around his more-than-thrilled victim.

"Not bad, yous?" she asked as they piled into a carriage leaving Fern last to climb in.

"C'mon now lads, shove over," Abithica tried to make space for Fern but failing miserably as the carriages only were large enough for four. Fern gave her infamous silent grin and closed the door to the carriage allowing it to move on its own accord. She watched it leave with her friends aboard and then turned around to get into the last one.

"Well isn't it my lucky day."

Fern couldn't help but laugh. "Did you plan this?"

"Unfortunately I can't take the credit, no," Sirius Black admitted with the same incredulous look as Fern. He held out a hand to help her onto the carriage. Fern couldn't help but feel excited by the simple grip of his hand. "Hey, you! Ravenclaw! This here's the last one!" Sirius called back for a third year looking girl who seemed quite lost. She clambered towards the carriage looking grateful. Sirius helped her up as well before climbing on, himself, gracefully, unlike the smaller girl who fumbled a bit. The third year plopped onto the seat next to Fern, blushing.

"Hullo," Fern serenely smiled at the smaller girl, who thought Fern looked the essence of 'cool.'

"Hi," the Ravenclaw sheepishly said. She blushed harder when Sirius, who sat across from her, gave her a careless grin. The third year busied herself with looking at her surroundings, very unaware of the intense staring game the older sixth years were playing. The carriage rocked them side-to-side in a two count rhythm that only stirred up a storm of lust within Sirius and Fern as they never broke eye contact. Fern had a ghost of a suggestive pout adorning her lips, whereas Sirius looked downright voracious. Fern could see Sirius's lips slightly start to part and chest rising and falling with deeper breathes. Finally the carriage stopped in the darkened patio among the other countless, empty carriages. Sirius jumped down first to help the blushing third year out accompanied with her quiet "Thank you," and watched her scurry into the illuminating castle. He then assisted Fern out in the most controlled manner he could muster. But before she could pass by him and into the castle, Sirius pushed her against the closed carriage and plunged down onto her lips with his mouth. She, just as eager as him, immediately tilted her head back to deepen their kiss as his hands, previously gripping her hips, were now running up her back to push their bodies closer. Breathing heavily through his nose, he pushed his tongue into her mouth and met hers with a fervent yearning. Her chest was pressed against his, which ignited his body with ice and fire. Fern felt his member stiffen from underneath his trousers against the inside of her thigh, and so sloppily pulled away from his mouth.

Understanding, Sirius gave her a semi-apologetic look but didn't pull away from her. "I'm not usually like this," he winced. Fern found his honesty endearing as she scoured his face from their proximity. She soaked in the curve of his eyebrows, the slant of his eyes, the thickness of his lashes, the point of his nose, the arch of his lips. He facetiously rolled his eyes upwards to the sky and sighed "Go on," awaiting her complaints of his _eagerness_ with good humor. She only grinned at his bracing expression.

"Are you terribly hungry?" she finally said. While keeping his gaze upwards, he squinted and then slowly looked down at her impish smile.

"I could skip a meal," Sirius drawled out, a wolfish smile growing on his face. Clutching her hand in his, he speedily towed her through the castle to the Gryffindor Tower.

And thus, it began.


	3. Chapter 3

"Would you classify us as friends?" Sirius asked one late Saturday morning in December as Fern was trying to hook her bra back on.

"What're you on about this time," She sighed, mostly frustrated that she was missing the hook. Sirius pushed her failing fingers out of the way, and righted the tricky hook.

"Do you," he said sitting up and kissing the crook of her neck from behind. "Think us mates?"

Fern slightly smiled. "It was only a week ago you learned my name," she trailed off mockingly.

"Ah, yes," Sirius chuckled leaning back once more but trailed a rogue finger down her spine. "Sirius the numpty, let's have a laugh at him again."

 _Fern was waiting idly on a staircase that seemed to stall on its way upward. She leaned against the banister and allowed the portrait of a sailor to flirt with her a little._

 _"I see nothing wrong with the lasses achieving an education! Freedom to each his own, I say and if it is what the lady desires then I daresay nobody shall stop you!" he proclaimed, his hat jostled by his passion. Fern smirked at his antics before her attention was pulled away from a startled cry. She turned to see the culprit slide down a banister to a staircase perpendicular to hers before leaping dangerously onto the steps she was standing on. She attempted to mask any sign that she was impressed and the sailor harrumphed._

 _"Looking for me?" she asked with a bored expression._

 _"What makes you think that," he grinned cheekily. His eyes sinking to half-lids, Sirius bent his head but wasn't able make his mark as Fern took a step backwards. She gave him a smiling yet questioning look, but then rapidly moved only her eyes to her left then right. 'Not here' she seemed to signal._

 _"What's your name," Sirius asked. He was tired of only seeing her by chance. His enchanted map was useless to him if he didn't have a name to look for. "The real one," he added and she smiled. Fern was now impressed. The kid was persistent. Before she opened her mouth they were interrupted._

 _"Miss Khan! There you are," a very peppy voice above them hollered. The duo looked up to see the young Professor Sprout waving at them. "By Merlin, these stairs will never get their act together, I swear- oh! Brilliant! If you'd follow me please Miss Khan. Look alive Mr. Black, these stairs are unforgiving," Sprout had snatched up Sirius's final moment to get some foundation with the girl. Sirius, along with the portrait of the sailor, scowled at the lack of female presence, until it hit one of them._

 _"Not many Khans in this school, eh?" Sirius winked to the displeased sailor._

 _That night someone knocked on her and Abithica's room door. "There's a note outside your room that's been there a while!" a girl in passing had called. Fern opened her door to see the paper bird floating in mid-air. She gently clasped the wings and looked around curiously in case the sender was nearby. She opened it and it read:_

 _WHAT KIND OF NAME IS FRANCES_

"What do you want, some kind of prize?" Fern scoffed before coughing a bit. Sirius noticed that she was coughing quite a bit lately.

"It's only fair," he shrugged pulled her back onto him. "You're not getting sick are you?" he added in a forethought.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "I'm just winded," she smiled. "It's a bit cold in here too."

"It's the Gryffindor Tower," He mumbled, displeased himself. "What's the Hufflepuff's quarters like?"

"Like you don't already know," she grinned at him.

"You can be proud to know that you are the first Hufflepuff I've ever slept with," he shrugged. "That's to say, there aren't many birds in your flock, are there?"

"Yeah, yeah, we know. _We_ especially know," Fern spoke on behalf of the Hufflepuff females. "Our year is incredibly out numbered. Lucky the fifth year girls. They've got quite the selection ahead of them," Fern shook her head good naturedly as she sorted out her long sleeved shirt before slipping it over her head. As an after thought she added, "It's warm, thank Helga. The heat from the kitchens warms the walls, I suppose. Nothing like here though. Our ceilings are much lower, obviously," she trailed off watching his expression of interest. He looked up thoughtfully.

"I'll have to pay you a visit sometime," he surmised. "In your hole," he suggested lewdly. Fern laughed.

"Please do. Or at least after my Hogsmeade date," she said slipping on her sweater. Sirius was reminded to make fun of the copious amounts of layers she would wear at a later time.

"Edwards finally had the balls to ask you?" he raised his eyebrows. Slipping out of the Gryffindor's bed, she turned her head back to simply reply.

"No, I took them so I could ask him before he had the chance," she tittered.

"'Atta girl," Sirius chuckled as she slipped out of his room. He reached for his bedside table once she was out of the room and found the map, him and his mates conceived. It was a map of the school with every known being and thing recorded in live time. Sirius liked to watch the tiny footsteps trace where Fern was walking to. In fact, it was how he found her most of the time for their "hangouts." Fern didn't know how he would find her, but when she felt she needed a pick me up, she would find an abandoned hallway or classroom and wait no more than ten minutes and within seconds Sirius would appear to whisk her off and have his way with her. If Sirius needed a pick me up, he just owled. It was an efficient system that didn't trouble either of them. He raised an eyebrow as he saw her take the route that one would take to the Infirmary. He rolled his eyes. If Fern was getting sick, then he should probably take a Pepper-Me-Up potion just in case to prevent whatever she possibly spread to him.

"Hey," Fern said tiredly whilst entering her room to see Abithica lounging in only her panties on her bed.

"Hiya," she said tersely not looking up from her magazine.

"You mad at me?" Fern asked almost amused at her friend's attempt at staying quiet. Abithica said nothing and flipped the page, clearly trying to ignore her friend's taunt.

"Sirius Black? Are you mental?" she finally burst, her magazine slipping from the bed in disregard. Fern chuckled and settled on her own bed, ready to watch the show. "You're bloody seeing Sirius Black?!" Abithica stood up in her naked glory to really lay on her performance.

"I'm not seeing him," Fern laughed at her friend's assumption.

"Bullshit. I saw you with him near the kitchens practically havin' a hump," Abithica's accent started to get Cockney which further amused Fern.

"And your point is?" Fern raised her eyebrows. Abithica became flabbergasted as her mouth opened and closed in shock.

"You're _not_ dating Sirius Black? _Are you bloody mental?!_ " Abithica shrieked.

"I can't really win here, can I?" Fern contemplated for a moment.

"Ferny," Abithica knelt beside her mate's bed. "That boy is the boy everyone wants for the long ride. You end this now," she said gently.

"It's fine," Fern shrugged. "We're... friends," she tested out the word on her tongue. Abithica looked like she was going to faint.

The next day Fern thought sincerely about what Abithica had said to her. At breakfast, she was surrounded by a group of her friends and kept Sirius Black and his amazingly good sex out of her mind. She was going to attend her classes for the week, do all her work, stay on top of her meetings, and then at the end of the week, take Chiros Edwards to Hogsmeade and perhaps snog him. It was a brilliant plan until the dreaded day came.

Sirius never noticed Fern in the Great Hall. What they did on their own time was enough for him to call it what it was. A good time. They weren't dating or 'together' or laid claim on each other in any way that meant monogamy. He didn't need to scan for her in the Great Hall and have a burning need to know where she was at every moment. However, one particular Wednesday following their tryst on Saturday brought Sirius's, and in fact everyone's, attention to the Hufflepuff table. The owls were hauling in mail as they usually do every morning, their wings bringing snow and water to those who didn't receive mail.

"Go away," Sirius muttered to a wandering owl who came to pick at his plate. A piercing crash and the clang of falling dishware startled the owl and Sirius.

" _FUCK!_ "

Remus, who was sitting closest to Sirius, shared a look of confusion with his best mate.

" _GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!_ " The accompanying sounds of more crashing made it clear that a curly haired girl in Hufflepuff was smashing things like a mad woman. She was standing and had tossed her plate and goblet in anguish and anger as well as caused the bench to nearly topple backwards. Professor McGonagall and a few other professors were already to their feet and rushing forward.

" _FUCK EVERYTHING! FUCKING UGH!_ "

What confused Sirius the most was that Fern was sitting calmly right next to her Housemate staring resolutely at the table as it was being cleared. Finally the mad girl had sat down in utter misery burying her face in her hands. When Sprout had reached the table in panic and confusion looking to see the matter, Fern, without lifting her head at the Head of House, held up a letter. Sprout snatched it and read it frantically, McGonagall joining to see the problem. Sprout, slowly and with a look of heartbreak, handed the letter to McGonagall almost in the same fashion as Fern had just done, and placed a dejected and heavy hand on the now despondent destroyer. McGonagall, donning a more solemn look, gave Sprout a empathetic pat on the shoulder before moving back to the front to speak to Headmaster Dumbledore. Sirius was soaking in all that was happening from the movements of the professors to the weeping girl to Fern who sat almost serenly in the chaos. Sprout had muttered some words to the aforementioned girl, who nodded somberly and assisted her mate out of the hall. Sprout followed, with McGonagall and Dumbledore in suit. A very tense silence followed the rest of the morning in the Great Hall, leaving the students stunned and hungry for gossip.

"What the bloody hell was that about?" Peter asked in horror. The sight was indeed disturbing to witness. The Hufflepuff looked possessed as she tried to break everything in her reach. "I've never seen a girl react like that before," he said nervously.

"With the war and all getting worse, she probably lost a family member," Remus hypothesized logically, albeit sadly empathizing with the girl.

"That was awful, that," James Potter, who arrived late that morning, seated himself next to his friends. "Caught the end bit. Poor girl looked devastated," he said in a moment of sage understanding. Remus's, as per usual, inductive reasoning was most accepted by the school as the following days the girl had received flowers from Housemates and condolences (though nobody really had a name or idea who died). Strangely, the girl didn't look depressed, just angry. However, she kept it in check as people tried to comfort her. Sirius reasoned that people dealt with grief in different ways. In addition, Fern wasn't to be seen in the Great Hall for the rest of that week following the incidence. He thought to send her an owl questioning what happened, but he wasn't a gossip nor could he bring himself to care, to be honest. It wasn't his business. Let the Hufflepuff girl grieve on her own without the nuisance of people she didn't know querying into her private life.

The weekend brought some excitement for everyone as it was the last Hogsmeade trip before the holidays. Everyone was bundled in their finest holiday gear and in full spirits even though the village was freezing to the say the least.

"It's a cold one this year," Remus muttered, gripping his coat around himself tighter.

"Stop beating around the bush there love," James pounced on Remus and gave him a messy kiss on his cheek. Remus laughed as he struggled to push the madcap off him.

"Where to then lads?" Peter asked rubbing his hands together, clearly dying to set his foot in the pub.

"Need to grab another quill, I broke mine falling down the stairs the other day," Remus said sheepishly.

"Moony mate, you've gotta stop leaving your quill in your pocket," Sirius laughed with a clap on the bashful boy.

"We'll meet you two at the Head, Peter and I are going to Ollivanders to see if anythings wrong with his wand, though I doubt it, the little shit," James tickled the smaller friend a little before lugging him along with a laugh.

Sirius idly browsed the quill shop as Remus talked with the attendant in the front, a girl who didn't attend Hogwarts, but a smaller wizarding school in Glassgow. She helped her family with the shop on the weekends, to Remus's pleasure as he got to flirt with the chit shamelessly. As Sirius observed a very expensive looking quill with disapproval of its symbol of wealth, he noticed a familiar looking lad wandering around in the same vicinity. Chiros Edwards was moseying around with an unfamiliar girl, looking and behaving dopey and affectionate with her. Sirius scoured the shop to see if Fern was around, just in case she didn't know that Edwards was two timing her. But it seemed that Fern was not there. For a split second, he wondered if she cancelled because of him but mentally called himself a sod and thought no more of it.


	4. Chapter 4

James Potter was torn. He felt that he was abandoning his brothers. Remus and Sirius were to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays and it was absolutely driving him crazy. Remus felt that his parents should be allowed a break from fretting over their werewolf of a child for one holiday. When James had suggested Remus come home with him, Remus peacefully replied, "I **am** home." Sirius, though eternally grateful for all that the Potters have done for him, he wanted to grant them at least one last family holiday together before he bombard them with his presence. "Who'll keep our dearest Remus company?" he joked as James wrung his hands and looked at the Hogwarts Express guiltily. Remus and Sirius had come to send James and Peter off for the holidays in Hogsmeade but in reality they were getting a lot of sad puppy eyes from James. With a sigh, he gave up and turned to leave. But before he did, he looked over his shoulder.

"Don't burn anything down without me," he said with a smirk and boarded the train with Peter, who only waved unsentimentally. Watching the steam billow out of the engine, Sirius reached for his cigarettes in his coat pocket unconsciously and pulled one out as he and Remus bid adieu to half their mates.

"It's bloody miserable out here," Remus griped and started towards the carriages to take them back to the castle. Without the thousand of students running a-muck, Sirius realized how much bigger Hogwarts seemed, the staircases wider, the ceilings higher, and the rooms larger and colder. He and Remus moseyed around for a bit before breaking into the Astronomy Tower to throw flame balls off the balcony to see how far they would go before freezing midair. During a brief hiatus in their fire throwing, Remus pulled out their magical map.

"Let's see the damage, eh?" Remus said whilst point his wand at the parchment and the muttering 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.' "Slytherins all but gone," he noted with approval.

"My, my. Ravenclaws are bountiful, aren't they?" Sirius pointed to where the Ravenclaw Tower's floor plans were etched. Silently, his eyes grazed over to the Hufflepuff common room and was surprised to see Fern's name etched where it seemed like the girl's dormitory was mapped out. He noted that a few weeks had passed since their last rendezvous. He mentally thought to himself to send an owl so they could exchange Christmas presents a little early. The next few days passed by incredibly slow. Every morning, Remus and Sirius would make their way down for breakfast, pleased that they weren't late for class. They'd lift their goblets up to Dumbledore in greeting (Sirius would wink to McGonagall) and then after their meals, retreat to the Gryffindor Tower to play chess or read, only leaving when they were hungry. They thought about venturing out, but the Gryffindor commons were so cold, they couldn't bear to think what outside would be like. By the fourth day, Sirius noted that he hadn't spotted Fern anywhere around which was impossible since less than a hundred students were left over at Hogwarts. He resolved to owling her during breakfast to Remus's curiosity (to which Sirius only waggled his eyebrows). However when he didn't get a reply by the end of the day, he was confused.

"Time to make a house call," he mumbled while looking at the map and seeing that she was still in her dormitory. Remus gave him a questioning look to which Sirius simply replied, "Hufflepuff." Remus gave a noncommittal shrug that also meant that he had nothing better else to do and stood up with his mate. When they reached the ground floor near the kitchens, they finally stopped by the nook where a stack of barrels amounting to Hagrid, the gamekeeper's height were placed. He looked perplexingly at Remus.

"Maybe we need a password?" Remus suggested sharing the confusion. "Er... bowtruckles?" Nothing happened. "Mandrakes." Again, nothing.

"Puffapods," Sirius offered and though nothing happened, Remus commended him.

"Nice. Fluxweed," Remus tried.

"Bowtruckles."

"I already said that."

"More like you asked. It's a password, not a question, mate."

"Bowtruckles," Remus repeated.

" _I_ already said that," Sirius huffed. This continued for a solid ten minutes before they were interrupted.

"What in Helga Hufflepuff's name are you two imbeciles doing?"

Sirius and Remus turned to see the Hufflepuff girl who experienced the mental breakdown in the Great Hall a few weeks ago staring expectantly at them.

"Er," Sirius said rubbing the back of his neck embarrassed. "Trying to see a friend."

"Who?" she demanded. Even Remus turned to look at Sirius too, for even he didn't know why they were there.

"Erm... d'you know Frances-"

"What do you want with Fern?" she asked narrowing her eyes at him. Sirius mentally groaned. He hated intervening girlfriends. They were always cockblocking him.

"Haven't heard from her in a while," Sirius shrugged. "Just wanted to say hi."

"She's gone on holiday," the Hufflepuff simply stated.

Sirius couldn't help but feel affronted. "Bollocks," he snapped. She narrowed her eyes further at him.

"She's not here," she ground out. Sirius only shook his head slowly with a cynical smile. "Can't you take a hint?" she crossed her arms. Remus at this point was sensing a blockade that would turn ugly and turned his back to the girl and touched Sirius's shoulder gently urging they come back another day. Sirius wouldn't have it. He would have backed off if the girl wasn't trying to slight him. Now he felt like he had something to prove. He stood his ground giving the Hufflepuff girl a cold glare.

"You'll have to do something for me," she finally said. This time Sirius audibly groaned. He detested deals. Making deals were a fools game that _only_ fools participated in.

"Fine," he snapped (to Remus's surprise for the latter never saw the former adhere to somebody else's terms).

She rolled her eyes and jerked her head to signal them to follow her. Luckily, they didn't have to go far because she led them through the painting of fruit, and into the kitchens. Immediatley upon their arrival, five house elves approached them with parcels of different sizes. Getting the hint, Sirius and Remus went forward and loaded their arms with the parcels. The Hufflepuff girl led them out of the kitchens and back to the barrels. To the boys' amazement, she took her wand and tapped a seemingly random barrel to a rhythm Sirius couldn't identify.

"Mind your heads," the Hufflepuff grumbled as she walked into the barrel that had just opened its lid for them. Crawling through the threshold to the Hufflepuff common room was an honor that practically no non-Hufflepuff students had ever had. Sirius was immediately hit by the feeling he was no longer in Hogwarts as the entire room was brown, earthy, and wooden. He also felt how incredibly warm it was there. He didn't get to observe long for the Hufflepuff girl was already motioning them to follow her through another barrel, which must have been the girl's dormitory. Sirius suddenly felt a pang of panic resound within him. Was his insistence too weird? What if this was a mistake. He donned an emotional masking of looking nonplussed and uncaring just in case things turned south. They walked down a narrow halllway for a minute or so before stopping at a door that, to Sirius, resembled every single door they passed.

The Hufflepuff gently knocked on the door before opening it slowly. "Ferny? You have some guests..." her voice sound much more kind than it was with them. Sirius hesitantly walked into the room and couldn't help but drop his mask at the sight of her.

Fern was lying up in bed looking like she was visited by a Dementor. Her once olive skin was ashy and pale and her eyes sullen and sinking.

"The house elves are bigger than the last time I saw them," she teased in the poised manner she always had. Her voice was practically gone but she looked unruffled by it. Sirius's feet seemed to carry him forward on their own accord towards her. He didn't look away from her as he started to near her and his parcels disappeared from his arms (the Hufflepuff girl slid them out of his hands gently).

"You look like shit," he mused with a wry smile once he sat down next to her. She smiled and snorted softly before coughing into her hand. "Am I gonna catch this?" he joked and her smile weakened. "I deserve it I suppose."

"I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies," she quipped once again. The Hufflepuff interrupted immediately.

"Ferny I brought you some food from the kitchens," she said started to set down the food with Remus's help. Fern immediately looked sour at the prospect.

"Abs, I really can't," Fern turned her head away in disgust.

"Oh but you must!" 'Abs' chirped saccharinely. "And you will," her voice, still sweet, held a threat.

"Alright Remus?" Fern diverted her attention to the second boy in the room who was leaning against their dresser and looking around the room. He met her eyes and gave her a small grin.

"Nice to officially meet you," Remus laughed and Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"You know each other already?"

"I've seen you around in hospital a few times," he remarked with a slight blush. "Mostly in the winters, eh?"

"Shitty immune system," Fern replied with mirth in her eyes.

"Yeah," he compressed his lips and looked away. "How is it so bleeding hot in here?" he added with an afterthought and pushing his sweater sleeves up to his elbows.

"Kitchens, huh?" Sirius offered remembering what Fern described to him.

"That can't be right," Remus wrinkled his nose. "The kitchens are too far from here."

"We're not in a tower," Fern shrugged.

"Our ceilings aren't high, so not much of a draft passing through," her friend offered as she held out a fork and box to Fern with a look that challenged her. Fern took it with a sigh.

"This is excessive," Fern said dismally at the amount of food. "You guys have to help."

"Help?" Sirius looked at Remus.

"The lady needs help," Remus shrugged.

"And she insists, you insist?" Sirius asked her.

"I insist," Fern nodded.

"She insists," Remus clapped his hands before reaching for a box of what looked like potatoes. Sirius grabbed some pasta with a wink to the annoyed Hufflepuff girl.

"Ta, _Abs_ ," Sirius joked.

"That's Abithica to you, Black," she snorted but let a small smile slip. Sirius chuckled and looked back at Fern who was staring at him placidly.

"Stop doing that," he said, unperturbed, whilst chewing and reaching into her box and stealing some steamed vegetables. She gave him a half-grin in response.


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius woke up on his own accord the next morning. He lay in bed staring at the ceiling of his canopy and thought about nothing. He thought to pay Fern another visit and see if she was well. He nabbed a piece of parchment and quill off of Remus's stand and scratched out a messy message. Grumbling a bit, he toughed out the cold stone floors to the window. Right upon opening it, a bitter icy breeze hit his face causing him to curse. Remus, rousing from his sleep, started to curse his roommate.

"Oy!" Sirius called to a stray barn owl sitting on a gargoyle not too far away from his window. Once the owl turned its head in attention to him, Sirius gave a sharp whistle and held his arm out. "Fucking..." Sirius muttered as the owl only considered it and his arm started to freeze. Finally it hobbled over using the ledge and climbed onto his arm nimbly. Losing all feeling in his arm, Sirius didn't feel its talons on his bare skin. "Easy does it," he gently maneuvered the owl inside. "Can you take this to the Hufflepuff's girls dormitory? There's only one girl left there, shouldn't be too difficult to find," Sirius said holding out the message. The barn owl gave a lowly hoot and used its beak to grab it. Sirius gave it a warm smile and stroked its head, to its pleasure, and released it back outside.

"You gotta stop stealing people's owls, mate," Remus's rasped from his bed. "That could have been McGonagall's."

"Nah, McGonagall's is spotted," Sirius said offhandedly. "Wait," he froze. "What color was that owl?"

Remus laughed as Sirius slapped his forehead with his open palm.

By the time the two were eating breakfast with a fourth year boy, the owl, with all its spots, had flown in with a message tied around its ankle. Gracefully landing, it held its leg out to Sirius who untied the message. The owl nestled against Sirius's arm while he opened his message.

"Is that my owl?" an incredulous voice asked from somewhere in the front of the Great Hall.

"Better run, mate," the fourth year chuckled.

The message read: sod off Black, to Sirius's pleasure and he barked out a laugh with food still in his mouth. He fed the owl a bit of rusk and it nipped his fingers lovingly.

"SIRIUS BLACK STOP FEEDING MY OWL BISCUITS!" McGonagall shrieked trying to make her way to end of the hall as humanly fast as possible.

"Up, up, up," Remus hit his friend's arm three times, his eyes trained on the approaching professor, and the two scrambled off the benches and out of the Great Hall without a moment's notice. McGonagall had only reached to where they were previously sitting and watched them disappear with a huff. Her owl looked up to her and gave a merry hoot.

"Oh don't look so pleased! Flirting with Sirius Black, really," McGonagall admonished before angrily retreating to her breakfast.

"I suppose we're off to the Hufflepuff Commons," Remus said smartly to which Sirius gave him a shrug.

"Any better ideas?" he raised an eyebrow to which Remus put his hands up. They reached the barrels and Sirius scratched his head. To his amazement, Remus went forward and tapped a barrel in a beat he was humming the whole morning. The barrel opened up.

"Remus you sly wolf!" Sirius looked at him in adoration. Remus grinned in response. They crawled through and entered, a little surprised to see a few younger kids lounging in the commons. They looked at Sirius and Remus in shock. Remus nudged Sirius to the girl's dormitory holding up seven fingers.

"Anybody up for some exploding snap?" Remus announced and approached the 13 year olds. Sirius couldn't help but smile all the way to seventh door in the girl's hallway. He loved that boy to bits.

"Knock, knock," Sirius said opening the door slowly. Abithica was sitting on the floor topless in her panties in front of a floor length mirror, doing what seemed like her hair. Fern was sitting up in her bed just like she was the night before wearing a different sweater.

"Ugh," Abithica rolled her eyes, turning back to the mirror. "I thought I told you to sod off."

Sirius gave her a grin and swept across the room to Fern's bed, where she lay in amusement as he sat down.

"Was that your owl? Or did you steal another one?" she asked with a laugh.

"McGonagall's," he couldn't help but laugh at himself. Fern's mouth dropped open and Abithica gave a sharp laugh from where she was sitting. Sirius slipped into her covers with the bundled lass cheekily. To his joy, she was only wearing her panties in bed. Tracing his hand secretively over her thighs under the covers, he observed the girls' room from his position in her bed.

"Why don't you two share your room with more girls?" he questioned, tracing a nonsensical pattern on her skin.

"Not many girl in our year," Abithica responded, fixedly trying to adjust her curls with her wand.

"Lucky brats," he simpered. "I've got to share a freezing room with four other lads. Wanna trade?" he winked with Abithica.

"I must be mad to pass that up," she said dryly. "Though I wouldn't mind being bed-mates with that friend of yours."

"Remus?" Sirius laughed. She shook her head.

"The one with the spectacles,"

"James!" Sirius clapped. "Shall I pass on the word, then?" he asked both of the girls.

Abithica thought about it. "No. Best not. Gryffindors are a bit of the dog's dinner, aren't they?" she shrugged and to his horror, Fern nodded in agreement.

"What's that supposed to mean," Sirius frowned, slighted by their statement by both the attack on his House and the animal of choice.

"Too cocky," Fern added. "Always trying to do more than you can with less of what you got," she said making a general statement.

"Peffner," Abithica reminded Fern.

"Ohhhh yes," she recalled with a sad shake of the head. "Fielding," she added with a forethought.

"Too much," Abithica tsked. Sirius sat rigidly, hoping Fern wouldn't bring his name up outloud. He mentally admit that he was impressed with the girls. They reminded him of him and his mates in their dormitory.

"Then I shan't pass on the word," Sirius said in the most dignified manner and Abithica nodded. "Want to go to Hogsmeade?" he asked Fern gently.

"She can't," Abithica interjected. Sirius wanted to push her over, but when Abithica looked at him, there was no trace of malice in her expression. "She's not feeling well," she said almost sympathetically.

"It's too cold out," Fern added with a apologetic look. Sirius turned on his side so his chest was pressing into her shoulder and his hand was creeping underneath her sweater.

"You should at least leave this room," he said with a frown. "You can't stay in here for the entire holiday." Abithica stood up and moved across the room silently to grab some clothes and a towel. She motioned that she would be in the shower and Fern nodded to her.

"I might have to be convinced," she looked at him mischievously as the sound of the shower turned on in the bathroom. Sirius smiled and dipped his hands in between her legs and traced the inside of her thighs higher and higher with a rogue finger. Fern's lips parted as she maintained eye contact with him. He lowered his head towards her, but didn't close the gap, only to watch her expression as his finger finally made contact with her underwear. Her eyes became half lidded and head tilted back in silent ecstasy as he teasingly stroked her up and down with a thumb. He pulled his hand back to wet his fingers in his mouth before he slipped his hand this time inside her panties and made contact with her cunt. Fern's breath hitched and she arched her back. Sirius painstakingly rubbed her clit in slow deliberate circles that had Fern gyrating against his palm in labored breaths. When he felt her getting wet, he slipped his middle finger into her and closing her eyes she gave a whisper of a moan. Sirius's own breath started to deepen but still he never closed the space between their lips, savoring the feeling of her hot breath on his mouth. The most he allowed was himself dipping his mouth onto her neck to hear her breathy sighs. He started to play with her clit faster which elicited a louder noise and her body rolling against his hand to egg him on further. When finally he felt her stomach contract, he crashed his lips against her and she moaned raggedly as if she was begging while she rode out her orgasm by rubbing herself against his fingers. Sirius finally pulled away from her lips to see Fern contentedly lie against her pillow.

"When do I get a turn?"

Fern cracked her eyes open to see that Abithica was out of the shower staring at the two with a smrik. Sirius snorted.

"Maybe some other time. I think my hand is cramping," he frowned but cracked a smile when Fern laughed.

"Might as well grab a quick wash if I'm leaving this room," Fern said with a cat-like stretch before flouncing off to the bathroom. Sirius and Abithica shared a silent awkward moment. Sirius slowly slinked out of Fern's bed in the direction where she just disappeared to.

"I... er, yeah," he tried to play it casual before dipping into the bathroom. When the bathroom door's lock resounded with a loud click, Abithica rolled her eyes and started to get dressed. She went down to the Common Room to wait for the two horny teenagers, and to her surprise Remus Lupin was playing cards with a second year on the floor.

"'Lo," Remus smiled at her when he noticed someone's presence looming by.

"Hi," she laughed, slightly charmed by the sixth year's willingness to entertain a 12 year old Hufflepuff boy.

"Are they done shagging?" Remus asked concentrating on his game whereas the younger boy chuckled and blushed, looking at Abithica for an answer.

Instead she changed the topic. "So what keeps you here Lupin. For the holidays that is," she said while taking a seat on an armchair.

"Giving the parents some alone time," he stated but it seemed like there was more to it. She didn't question it. "You?" he lifted his eyes for a moment.

"She's keeping Fern company," Oliver, the second year, answer for her. Remus raised his eyes to her and she nodded once in confirmation.

"Is that a regular thing?" Remus shifted his gaze to the boy.

"Every year," he said. "My nan's in hospital in the winters, so I stay here too," he said unaffected. Remus felt a sadness rest in his heart and tried to swallow it away.

"Well you're in for a treat this year, mate," Remus plastered on a smile while throwing down a card.

"What's going to happen?" Oliver paused to ask.

"It's a surprise you numpty, don't tell him!" Sirius mock scolded Remus. He looked to Oliver. "Don't go spreadin' it around now," he narrowed his eyes at him. Oliver solemnly nodded.

"You smell... clean," Remus suddenly said looking up at Sirius who only shrugged. Remus raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly in commendations. Shower sex. Nice.

"Where are we off to?" Abithica asked as Fern had finally come through to the commons, bundled excessively in layers.

"To the North Pole apparently," Remus joked, while standing up, using the second year's shoulder as support.

"Astronomy Tower?" Sirius asked Remus and he nodded.

"And we might borrow your portable," Remus said snatching the radio off the fireplace and sending a wink to Oliver.

When the four stepped out on the corridor from the commons, Fern immediately started to feel the cold seep through her layers even though she wore a full sleeve, t-shirt, and two sweaters ontop of her jeans. When she inhaled, she began to cough, but surpressed it enough to make it look like she was clearing her throat. Abithica made sure to stay in arms length distance in case Fern felt like she needed some support. The trek felt unbearable for Fern. The stairs never ended, and the banter between Sirius, Remus, and Abithica made her head pound and swirl. She had to stop a few times, embarrassingly enough, but eventually they made it to the top. Sirius unlocked the entrance with a quick spell and led them inside. Fern felt the coldness finally surpass her clothes and touch her skin. She coughed a bit more to which Abithica gave her a concerned look. Fern smiled and shook her head, signalling she was alright.

"Which station is Hogsmeade's?" Remus asked fiddling with the portable radio he nicked from their commons. Abithica went over to help him find it, but they ended up bickering on the proper way to receive signals. Fern wandered to the balcony railing and looked out to the snowy hills of Scotland.

"So what's the plan after all this?" Sirius asked joining her. She shrugged.

"Dunno," she whispered, afraid to set off a string of coughs.

"I can't stop thinking about the war," Sirius admitted after a moment. "It doesn't feel real from all the way over here. Like it's a joke, or maybe it'll be over when we leave," he said somberly. "When we leave," he repeated, furrowing his eyebrows. He tasted the words on his tongue. "When we leave Hogwarts."

"Oy! That's a good song!" Abithica was shouting at Remus.

"It's only the Beatles," Remus replied condescendingly. "Ah! Now that's music," Remus said.

"Who's this?" Abithica asked.

"The Who."

"That's what I'm asking! Who?" Abithica snapped. Remus closed his eyes and laughed. He laughed so hard that Abithica started to laugh, which in turn caused Sirius to chuckle. And then Fern started to cough. And then she coughed harder. And then the coughs started to rack her body so that she held on to the railing for support. Nobody was laughing when they saw the red dripping from her mouth and splattering on the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

Sirius remained glued to the map. It was now Christmas Eve.

 _"Fern!" Sirius shouted but didn't near her for fear that his touch would further trigger her coughs. Abithica had scrambled to her feet and scampered to Fern, holding her up with a bit difficulty all the while yelling at Sirius and rejecting Remus's helping hands._

 _"I told you she shouldn't have left!" Abithica screamed at him._

 _"I- she . . .I didn't-" Sirius stammered, not able to find the reason as to why he thought this was a good idea in the first place. Soon Abithica had whisked the hacking Hufflepuff out of the Astronomy Tower with a new found strength. Sirius remained staring helplessly at the bright red splatters of blood glaring at him in accusation. "I thought she would b-be fine," Sirius finally whispered. Remus placed an attempted comforting hand on his shoulder and for a moment said nothing._

 _"C'mon mate," he said gently._

Sirius watched the name 'Fern' now stationary in the Infirmary with the name 'Abithica' dutifully placed nearby. Sirius had thought about what he was going to say to Fern when he saw her. Or if he saw her, now that Abithica was convinced Sirius was trying to kill the girl. His Gryffindor courage disappeared when he saw Dumbledore and Professor Sprout's name now next to the girls'.

"Don't beat yourself up about it," Remus consoled him. "She'll be fine. She's not going to die," he rolled his eyes.

"I know," Sirius grumbled. "But she had looked like she was hurting," he said remembering the way she crumpled to the ground like a puppet's strings had been snipped. He could barely tolerate seeing his own best friends getting hurt let alone an sprite of a girl.

"There really is something so gutting about a bird in pain," Remus agreed solemnly, folding his arms across his chest, recalling the scene.

"D'you think I'll catch it?" Sirius regretted the words as soon as they escaped from his lips. Remus gave him such a disbelieving look that he felt dirty. "Right," he coughed and shifted his gaze. Priorities, Sirius. Priorities.

Fern's mood considerably darkened since her Head of House and Headmaster had come to visit her in hospital. The matron nurse, Madam Pomfrey, was thrilled to have more administration come and admonish her.

"Fern, you must take better care of yourself!" Sprout shook her head.

"I must advise you, Miss Khan, that you must take extra precaution this year. The winters are not merciful and I fear we have not felt the true wrath of the weather yet," he counseled, folding his hands royally in front of himself.

"It's my fault Professor," Abithica stood in front of the line of fire. "I thought it would be good for her to get some exercise. I didn't realize how cold the castle would be," she said leaving the part out about the insistence of two teenage boys.

"That brings us to our next point of matter," Sprout said shifting her eyes nervously between Abithica and Fern. The professor was still young and new at teaching. She wasn't an authoritarian in nature and still felt uncomfortable dishing out discipline. "We see it best that you rest for the remainder of the break so you may be at your best when classes resume-"

Abithica had lost it. She was the only person in the whole world who knew that Christmas was Fern's favorite holiday. Fern would never admit it though. She began yelling and arguing so frantically that Pomfrey interjected with strong support for Fern's seclusion. Sprout attempted to calm both parties but they were at each other's throats. In the midst of people arguing and deciding for the control of her life, Fern tranquilly stared at her Headmaster who chose to not speak. She finally spoke up, causing everyone to silence themselves to hear what she had to say.

"But sir," Fern coaxed softly with a whisper of a cheeky smile growing. "It's Christmas," her eyes wrinkled in the corner. Dumbledore's soft and silent demeanor beamed. Then it grew into a hearty chuckle that filled the silence of the hospital.

"Indeed it is," he patted her knee with fondness. Madam Pomfrey smacked her forehead with her palm and Professor Sprout sighed in relief. And that was that.

"How do you do that?" Abithica asked in awe. "How do you make him just . .. melt?"

Fern's smile didn't reach her eyes this time as they were staring at something far away. "Dumbledore is a man of honor. He respects those who respect death."

Fern woke up early to somebody's stray cat jumping onto her bed.

"Are you an omen?" she whispered fondly to the purring black cat who nudged her chin with its head. She yawned and complied with the feline's wishes and gave it a scratch behind the ears. Satisfied, it hopped off her bed and scurried off towards the front doors. Fern followed it with her eyes but her gaze stopped at the pair of feet which the cat passed.

"You're up terribly early," he said with a tepid smile. She returned none and a thick silence passed between them. She didn't try to relieve it with a response. "I'm not here for him," Remus shrugged. Fern noticed his other arm held a simple brown box with a simple brown lid. She waited for him to explain. "I'm here for a pick-me-up, to be honest," he tapped on his head with a sore look. The room was silent once more as Remus looked at her with a look that made Fern nervous, though she dare not show it.

"Shitty immune systems, eh?" she responded without a trace of humor.

He nodded once, somberly.

"Aye."

Silence enveloped them once again.

"Remus?" Madam Pomfrey stepped out of her quarters from the back. The boy's face lit up a thousand watts when he saw her and rushed to meet her, slightly out of Fern's sight.

"Happy Christmas Poppy," he said producing the box forward to her. Madam Pomfrey clutched her cheeks and for a slice of a moment, she looked her age- a 30 year old maiden with color in her face and sapphires in her eyes.

"Oh you rotten boy!" she said collecting him in her arms. He laughed and reciprocated the hug with one arm. "Happy Christmas," she said her eyes shining.

Fern looked at her lap politely as to not intrude on the scene. With a dip in the bed, she saw the cat return and beckoned it closer so she could coddle it some more. She could hear Remus's voice drop to a lower octave as he murmured some private words with the matron. Their hushed voices made Fern uncomfortable and itchy, but she didn't fidget once or appear anything less than unbothered. She heard Remus's footsteps and when she looked up, he nodded to her courteously but continued to stride out of hospital without pausing for another chat. Fern looked to Madam Pomfrey who was watching the girl with an unreadable expression. But she snapped out of it quickly and resumed her responsibility.

"I'll have your breakfast then," she said brusquely and left Fern alone with her thoughts.

"Fascinating," she murmured as the cat touched her nose with its own.

That evening, Sirius and Remus walked down the Grand Staircase in awe of all the splendor the castle was decorated in. Though not children anymore, they still watched in wonderment as the paintings all dressed in their finest outfits and held their own celebrations. Abithica was outside, leaning against the Great Hall doors by herself when they finally reached their destination. Remus gave Sirius an encouraging look and left his friend to face the music. Sirius approached the Hufflepuff as coolly as he could, albeit slowly. Abithica looked beautiful. She wore a golden sweater which brought out the pink in her fair cheeks and equally golden hair to looks angelic. She looked enough to put on top of one of the Christmas trees. He stopped right next to her but couldn't find the words to speak. She didn't look at him when she finally spoke, in a tone that surprised Sirius.

"You don't share a room with her," She whispered and then pausing for a silent moment. "You don't see her coughing out her heart. You don't hear her breathing at night. If that's what you call it," Abithica desolately spoke. "She's in pain even when she sleeps," Abithica's voice cracked and she instantly put up a hand to her mouth to keep herself from letting out a sob. Sirius immediately enveloped her in his embrace, unable to witness her tears. Speaking of her friend's illness made Sirius realize that Fern's deterioration happened more often than he thought. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. B-but- she's my best friend," Abithica's muffled voice resonated within Sirius. _She_ was sorry?

"Happy Christmas Abs," Sirius settled on saying, pulling away and wiping the tears off of the Hufflepuff's face who looked up at him a warm smile.

"Happy Christmas Black."

Christmas at Hogwarts is not something that would ever be considered lacking. Fern often wondered why people returned home at all for the holidays when Hogwarts was the most supreme at pageantry. But she remembered about family. That was it, wasn't it? That's all it took for children to leave this magnificent castle without complaint.

Madame Pomfrey had made sure that Fern was dressed aptly for the feast. She wore two thick sweaters and a large charcoal wool blanket thrown over her shoulders. She felt as she was drowning in fabrics, but felt considerably warm, so she didn't complain. She took the nurse's arm and allowed the older woman to escort her down the stairs to the Great Hall. She savored the sight of the icicles that glistened from in between the banister spaces. When they were in eye sight of the Great Hall doors, Fern could see the glowing light of the fairies.

"The icicles were always my favorite part," Madam Pomfrey admitted softly. "They make everything look so . . . " she trailed off.

"Magical," Fern finished the matron's sentence. They shared a sweet moment of silence as they finally stood at the entrance. Fern saw Oliver sprinting down the aisles towards them, so she loosened her grip on her chaperone.

Giving her a soft kiss on her cheek, Fern smiled warmly, "Happy Christmas Madame Pomfrey."

"Hold on to her tight Oliver," Pomfrey handed over Fern to the young boy before flashing the girl a kind smile and moving to her station at the front with the rest of the staff.

"Merry Christmas Fern!" Oliver beamed at her as she hooked her arm around his, giving him the notion he was supporting her.

"Merry Christmas Olly," she fondly looked at him as he blushed. She turned her attention to the spectacle of Hogwarts. Snow was falling from the enchanted ceiling, but never reached their heads. Uncountable festoons and garlands of holly and streamers decorated the walls and chandeliers. Silver and gold dripped from top to bottom. Wreaths were tastefully decorating the tables. Towering, blindingly bright and beautiful Christmas trees lined the the front. Oliver had led her to the front of the Hall, as per every year, and she was seated in the corner, not to be disturbed. Once she was seated, Oliver took the seat next to her, devotedly.

Sirius stared at her from his seat near the doors in the Great Hall. Fern looked like royalty. Not in appearance. In appearance, she looked like she was ill and sickly. She was covered in fabrics that practically swallowed her and made her look a pauper. But to him, the way Fern held herself was nothing short of a queen entering her domain. She was never left by herself and didn't look around the room in nervousness. She carried herself in the most graceful poise one could witness a child do. She didn't even see him sitting five feet away from her when she entered with Pomfrey. How could she? She was truly the only one in the room. He watched the staff even regard her with a certain respect that made him curious. Abithica left the two Gryffindors after realizing her best friend had entered and joined the front of the hall. At that moment, Dumbledore stood up and gave a truly heartwarming speech about kindness and hope about wizardkind before he allowed the feast to commence.

"Suddenly I feel cold seeing you all bundled like that," Abithica joked while taking a seat in front of the Hufflepuffs.

"Why is it you're always cold Fern?" Olly asked as he greedily pulled a leg of turkey onto his plate.

"She was born a winter babe," Abithica said fondly to him. "The cold doesn't shake from her bones." Olly looked unconvinced and looked at Fern for confirmation. She gave him a smile that satisfied him.

Suddenly a loud eruption echoed in the Great Hall and everyone simultaneously looked at the source. The suits of armor were marching in with Father Christmas hats and wreaths around their necks. They were singing Christmas carols as they marched in, the ghosts of the castle following in line, happy to be apart of the spectacle. Some suits of armor had started to waltz with a few of the students, especially to Abithica's delight as she allowed a suit of armor to practically sweep her up into a tango. Fern had to make sure she didn't laugh too much otherwise she would cough, so she forced herself to only smile at the sight. Oliver was laughing and practically bouncing out of his seat. Fern had never seen him so giddy. To her delight, after the performance, fireworks erupted from the Enchanted ceiling and showered on the students a glorious sparkling rain that never burned or scorched them. The students clapped and cheered at the sight but were shocked to see Dumbledore providing a standing ovation, implying he was not the mastermind behind the show. The fireworks sizzled into smaller sparkling lights which resembled fireflies and gently started to descend and then gather and rest on the students' necks like necklaces to everyone's now hushed rapture. Everyone whispered in elation to the glowing jewelry that wrapped around their shoulders.

"Oh Fern," Abithica whispered covering her mouth. Fern looked at her friend's teary eyes. "You look . . . beautiful," she finally managed to choke out. The fireflies had settled into a circlet around Fern's hair providing her with a golden crown. Even Olly looked enthralled by her luminous face. Fern suddenly had an idea at who was behind everything and searched the Gryffindor table. In the back, there they were, also looking in her direction. Sirius was giving her a large, cheesy smile. Remus on the other hand was staring almost sorrowfully at her. The black haired Gryffindor had decided this was the moment to approach as he swung off his bench, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and casually walked over.

The poltergeists had come in at this point and released a bunch of large looking balloons.

"What are those?" Fern asked as the other students cheered and raced towards them; even Olly had scrambled up to get to them. They attempted to jump and grab them but were shouting in glee when the balloons escaped their touch.

"Christmas crackers, silly," Sirius said sliding next to her and gently fixing her firefly crown with admiration. Fern witnessed a Slytherin fourth year snatch one and excitedly pop it in his hands to obtain the Christmas cracker inside. With immense joy, he pulled it apart and the cracker exploded with a huge booming canon-like sound and immersed the child in a blue milky cloud-like smoke. The staff watched fondly at the students' carefree enjoyment. McGonagall, shocked by the loud sound each time, jumped in her seat but didn't attempt to stop anyone. Sirius watched Fern watch everyone delight in the wizard game.

"Want one?" he asked her never straying his eyes off her and she turned her head to him in surprise. He was pleased he could evoke such an emotion from her. Without waiting for an answer he nonchalantly stood up and walked over to the crowd of younger kids. His presence itself was comical as he towered over the twelve and thirteen year olds. He grabbed a first year Gryffindor and lifted him up on his shoulders so that the first year could snatch the balloons. The other students immediately demanded help so Sirius bashfully looked back at her as he helped the younger ones get their crackers. Loud explosions soon followed. McGonagall's hands never left her ears and Dumbledore was laughing so hard tears leaked from the corner of his eyes, shining as they passed his half-moon spectacles.

"The sooner you do it, the better," Abithica softly roused Fern's attention. For a moment she said nothing.

"We're friends," she whispered in a manner that tried to convince herself rather than Abithica.

"Then tell him," Abithica urged. "Or else he will fall in love with you and he will be ruined."

"He won't fall in love with me," Fern jerked her gaze away in displeasure.

"He will," Abithica predicted gently. "We always fall in love with what we can't have or don't understand. That's why it hurts when it's taken away from us."

Fern swallowed and looked back to Sirius who had finally grabbed a balloon for himself. Abithica placed an encouraging hand on top of Fern's before she stood up.

"I won't tell you what to do. I'll wait up for you," Abithica said softly before leaving the hall, Remus exiting at the sight of her departure.

"Here we are," Sirius said flopping down, his hair looking messy from the first year holding on to it for balance. Fern couldn't meet his gaze when he placed the cracker in front of her.

"Thank you," she whispered. She finally looked at him with an indecipherable look in her eyes. Sirius noticed they looked a bit glassy. "Can you help me back to my room," she asked in a far away voice.

"Sure," Sirius became humorless when he saw her earnestness. He assisted her out the Great Hall, watching as the charms he and Remus cast break and cause the fireflies fall from her head unceremoniously and disappear into the ground like embers fizzling out. Remus was standing by the stairs, nodding to them, letting Sirius know he would wait for him with a single look. When they reached the Hufflepuff Common room Fern was speechless. Sirius felt like she was trying to tell him something so he didn't speak all the while.

Finally Fern looked at him for an aching moment. She slowly stood on her toes and brought her lips up to his in the most gentle manner. Sirius stood frozen as she kissed him. He closed his eyes and felt every corner of her mouth melt against his, her hands sliding up his neck and into his hair. Just as softly as she kissed him, she broke away and left him to retreat towards the girls' dormitory. Confused, Sirius stayed rooted in his spot by the entrance of the common room. Squinting, he looked up with only his eyes and fought hard to not smirk when he saw the mistletoe hanging above him.


	7. Chapter 7

The following months felt like clockwork to Sirius. He spent time with his mates, begrudgingly did his school work, disobeyed authority, flirted with birds, and had clandestine rendezvous with Fern. Every few weeks they would indulge in each other's skin in deserted classrooms, hallways, and bedrooms. Yet all the same, something had indeed changed between them. He didn't want to go and blame it on Fern, but Sirius felt that it wasn't him that was acting differently. Instead of taking off unhurriedly after sex, Fern would now mechanically dress and leave without small talk or light tidings. And Sirius was left alone in the heavy silence. He didn't want to bring it up with the Hufflepuff girl in fear of looking like he was hurt (which he was) or worse, desperate.

Unknowingly, Sirius was not wrong. Fern was distancing herself. She couldn't cut the cord between them; it was tough like fishing line. But at the same time, the cord was pulled too tight and was ripping from the threads and would snap any day. No. Fern kept everything taut and controlled.

"This is stressing me out," Fern revealed to Abithica one day as they were walking out of the Great Hall. "I wish you hadn't pushed me so much about it," she glared at her friend as they passed a gaggle of Slytherin girls.

"Maybe you need a break," Abithica apologetically offered. "From Sirius."

The Slytherin seventh years lowered their voices as the two Hufflepuffs passed.

"Pitiful, really," one of the girls said, not bothering to lower her voice. Abithica smartly looked to Fern as they heard the taunt.

"Or a break from men," Abithica winked and walked ahead leaving Fern to contemplate it. She'd never been with a Slytherin before.

For the following weeks she attempted to cleanse herself of Sirius. It was never a problem detaching from boys before. It was a bit of touch and go. She tried her usual gimmicks. Other boys. Food. Music. Other girls. Reading. And then she would get that blasted letter floating to her, only readable through her touch. She could easily ignore it if it were anybody else. But Sirius was so . . . _good_. He was unbelievably good at sex. That's what Fern told herself as she was sitting outside in the courtyard on a very pleasant afternoon post-lunch.

"'Lo stranger," he appeared from behind her, settling next to her underneath one of the arches in the corridor framing the courtyard. "Been a while," he said with a familiar smile. He respectfully sat with space between them, not speaking out of turn. He didn't mention that she didn't respond to his last summons. She returned the pleasantries, though with self-discipline.

"You look well," she said. They sat together staring passively at the students passing by in contemplative silence.

"I don't think I've ever really had a sit," Sirius finally said with a lilt to his voice. "I mean, at Hogwarts," he added. "It's always been go, go, go. Always running about," his mind going fondly to his childhood memories. Fern couldn't really compare. "It's nice," he concluded finally looking at her. "This is nice."

"Black!" a female voice had echoed behind them. Both turned to see a very beautiful and glowing blonde Ravenclaw walking up to them. She placed a comfortable hand on the Gryffindor's shoulder and looked to Fern for introductions.

"Ah, Heather," Sirius greeted the Ravenclaw with mild surprise. "Fern, love, this is . . . Heather," Sirius introduced the two sixth years with a bit of hesitancy. He immediately regained his composure and let the two meet. Fern understood this girl to be Sirius's new beau. She suppressed the idea that this relationship was born out of the lack of sex Sirius was getting from her.

"Pleasure!" the blonde happily claimed and there was no farce behind her words. She looked genuinely kind.

"Like-wise," Fern smiled.

"I don't think I've ever seen you around," Heather laughed and stopped abruptly. "Sorry,was that unkind?" she asked sheepishly. Fern only gave her a polite smile without confirming nor denying.

"Heather and I have Charms together," Sirius informed Fern.

"Do you two have any classes together?" Heather asked. Sirius was about to negate but Fern interrupted.

"We have Potions together," Fern answered. Sirius did not register the comment for the first second. When Fern didn't break, Sirius's face melted into horror. _Did they_?! He was attempting to calm an arising panic attack. Surely he couldn't have been _that_ thick to have not noticed the girl he had been shagging for a year to be in one of his classes. Maybe Remus was right about his tunnel vision.

"Do we really?" Sirius whispered hoarsely, grabbing her arm. Fern hopped off the ledge and gave him a breezy glance.

"No," she quipped airily. "Later."

Heather watched Sirius's frightened expression soften into acceptance as he closed his eyes and gave a soft chuckle.

Fern was relieved that Sirius was dating someone. It made it easier to keep her distance from him. She contemplated back to Abithica's scolding. Fern's decision was clear. She'd officially break things off with him. She had to. Exactly _when_ , was her issue. In the midst of all her contemplation, she realized she was on the third floor. She found herself near the corridor of where the library was. The temptation of a cozy chair by the window was beckoning Fern, and when has she ever denied desire? She swept through the first floor of the grand library, proceeding past more of the first and second years who usually stayed close to the doors, past the third and fourth years who stuck to the back of the first floor to snog, and up the stairs to where the more friendless and studious students hid. She found an alcove near the dusty muggle philosophy section where she took to a plush overstuffed sofa curling her legs underneath her. She took pleasure when she saw soft, barely drops of rain started to hit the window, knowing that it would rain harder that night.

"A bit rude to ignore us, if you ask me," Remus said catching her attention. To her surprise Oliver was standing with the over-towering Gryffindor, only matching in a cheeky smile. Remus clarified, "You passed us on the lower level. Tried calling you. Gave us the slip, didn't she mate?" Remus asked him crossing his arms.

Oliver chuckled and agreed but went to Fern when she opened her arm out to him, so he could sit with her. Remus would have to confirm with Oliver later if they were related.

"Alright Fern?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah darling. What're you doing here anyways?" she asked him. He was only a second year. He didn't have workloads that required time in the library. "And with Remus, at that," she said giving Remus a cheeky glance of her own. He responded with a snort.

"We were hanging out," Oliver simply replied and Fern took it for what it was. "Are you not going to sit?" he directed it to Remus.

"Only if I'm allowed," Remus said more to Fern than Oliver.

"Why wouldn't you be?" Oliver scoffed and Remus sat down smoothly putting his arm around the back of the sofa, looking hardly like a teenager and more of a man.

"What happened to your own mates then Olly?" Fern asked smoothing his sandy hair back, to which he blushed and fussed her hand away.

"They're all tossers, the lot of 'em," he said sourly trying to fix his hair. Fern looked to Remus who was surprisingly staring right at her rather than the boy. He shook his head subtly as to signal her that it was a touchy topic for the kid.

"Why's that then?"

"They all said nasty things about Hufflepuffs," he furrowed his eyebrows. Remus was shocked that the boy even admit it to Fern. He knew simply as experience that boys were not good at expressing when they were hurt at that age (or at any age for that matter). In fact the second year wouldn't even talk to Remus about it.

"Gryffindors were they?" she asked. Remus felt a bit bad. His own House saying offensive things about the Hufflepuff House. He would be lying if he hadn't partaken in some outer-House bashing himself with his mates. He should've known better.

"And Ravenclaw," Oliver grumbled.

"I told you that was going to happen," she chuckled at his sore face. He glowered at her and she stroked his nose to his annoyance. "But I'll let you know something after completing six years here," she said to which Oliver looked at her more attentively. "No other House in this _entire_ castle, no other students besides Hufflepuff," even Remus was listening enraptured, "are close to being _the_ most loyal and trustworthy people as Hufflepuffs are," she said emphasizing her adjectives. Oliver, being a child, rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Oliver," she firmly stated and he looked at her exasperatedly. "Loyalty is _so_ important, my darling," she smiled at him softly. "You may not see it now. But being loyal _is_ brave. Being loyal _is_ intelligent. Being intelligent and brave doesn't mean you're loyal, love."

Remus immediately understood why Sirius was charmed by Fern. She spoke so deliberately and slowly, and with wisdom that you hung off of every word she spoke. And what she said was right. He knew people in his own dorm that oozed courage from Godric Gryffindor himself, but didn't have a faithful bone in their body. He'd even seen brainy Ravenclaws try to sabotage their own Housemates to score better on exams. Remus didn't realize that Oliver was looking to him now for confirmation.

"She's bang on," he spoke. Oliver didn't look convinced. "When I'm in trouble, I'm not looking for the person who knows it all or is the hero," Remus admitted. "I'm looking for my mates. Because I know they're behind me all the way," said in finality. Though he still didn't look pleased, Fern knew that Oliver was thinking about what they said.

"Well isn't this a touching moment?" Remus rolled his eyes. James had the map that day. It was a 50/50 chance that James would find either him or Sirius. Looks like it was his day to babysit. Remus wished that this wasn't how Fern would meet James. A tosser.

"Do you like your new daddy, champ?" James Potter sneered at the second year sitting between Remus and Fern, looking very much like their child. Oliver shared an incredulous look with Fern. She even quietly laughed.

"Whad'you want," Remus rolled his eyes.

"I missed yous is all," James pouted adopting a high pitch Cockney accent. "Is this my new bruv? _Are you my new mummy?_ "

Remus couldn't help but chuckle at his mate no matter how daft he was acting. He also saw James take in the girl with the same interest that probably he had himself a few months ago. Fern was wearing trousers, uncommon for the girls their age who wanted to show off their shapely legs She wore her white oxford un-tucked and without tie and the cuffs of her sleeves rolled up a few times. She practically dressed like a chap but her sinewy frame and girlish features made her look anything but. James Potter should make fun of her for being man-ish or a somewhat akin to a lesbian but the air about her made her look like she was in charge, rather than confused. This girl knew what she was doing.

"Well you found me," Remus said with a knowing smirk and James couldn't help but grin back.

Fern wondered if Sirius only befriended good looking people as she took in the other old wizarding blood before her. He wasn't so aristocratic in looks as Sirius, but James Potter held a type of boyish attitude that you'd only see on the American telly- carefree, spoiled, incredibly endearing, and funny. Tall, black mussed hair and warm hazel eyes, James Potter was truly every wizarding mother and father's dream.

"I- er. . ." Remus stammered a bit awkwardly as he started to get up. "I'll see you guys later, eh Oliver?"

The Hufflepuff boy just nodded and sunk back into the couch, feeling intimidated by the most popular boy in school in their presence. After a moment, Remus spoke again.

"Bye," Remus paused to look at Fern and her smile grew a little more. He spoke with her Oliver with kindness. She would be indebted to him for that.

"Buuu-hyyyyee," James heavily breathed/guffawed out mockingly to Fern, erupting in laughs as his best friend shoved him off. Fern couldn't help but laugh again. She could hear the two bickering all the way out of the library. James Potter was such a character.

"Do you like him?" Oliver spoke up once the two Gryffindors were gone. Fern gave him an inquisitive look. "Remus."

"Of course. Don't you?"

"I don't mean like that," Oliver looked at his hands in concentration. "Do you want to shag him?"

"Oliver!" Fern shouted incredulously but laughed harder than she had in awhile. "Where do you get off asking me something like that?" she shoved the little bugger away from her and he laughed in despite of himself.

"But you're with Sirius," he clarified.

"No, love. And I hope you haven't been telling people that," she said sternly. He shook his head. "I'm not with Sirius," she confirmed again this time a little more gently.

"But you like him?" Oliver asked.

Fern thought carefully before responding. "Yeah. He's alright, in'he?" Why wouldn't she like him? And why wouldn't _he_ like _her._ They _were_ shagging. It'd be weird if they didn't like each other. Oliver shrugged.

"I don't love him though," Fern added to which Oliver looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"How do you know?"

"Because I won't let myself," she smiled sadly.

"But how would you know?" Oliver pressed.

"Love?" she asked Oliver and he nodded. "I guess it's a feeling that just make you love that one person above all everyone else. And it makes you selfish," she settled on an explanation. Oliver had a far-away look in his eyes. "And I can't afford the time to love anyone else besides you and Abs," she nudged him and he rolled his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: I literally just made this chapter five minutes after I received only the second comment this story has received. Proof I do it for y'all**

* * *

Sirius was irritated at this point. Fern was being unreasonably abrupt with him. They hadn't been _together_ in weeks, yet the conversations outside those interactions were still cold.

"Fern, what's happenin'?"

"Not much."

"Er. Right. So anything new?"

"Nope."

"Hah, yeah. All these days feel the same now, don't they?"

"Sure."

She wasn't unkind in tone by any means. In fact, she spoke to him in a polite and worse, pitying, manner. As if he was the special kid who ate owl food. Now, Sirius Black wasn't any outwardly arrogant man. He realized at an early age that females seemed to be interested in him more so than the lads his age. He pinned it on his reputation as the black sheep. No pun intended. Rebellion was ingrained in his being as he made his home in Gryffindor rather than his heritage house; Slytherin.

On top of this, he had a knack of disobeying authority more than the average bloke. So when girls started smiling more at him, he figured it was females just trying to get what they thought was _wrong_. In fact, Sirius' favorite girlfriend was the one who was so dismayed in the fact that Sirius was a pretty boring guy. A guy who didn't light fires to forests or kick around professors or get involved with the mafia. She was horrified that _there was nothing to fix_. Sirius to this day laughs at the way he (but let her tell everyone she was the one broke up with him [though nobody believed her still]) broke up with her.

"I was going to save you!" she cried.

Sirius laughed. "From who?"

Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she said what she thought was the obvious answer. "Well . . . from yourself, of course!"

More to his credit, Sirius wasn't _boring_. He had plenty of fun with his mates blowing stuff up or playing little practical jokes on other students. But he did that with his _mates_. And after he saw the pattern of girl after girl trying to _fix_ him, he just started to ignore them. When they couldn't save him from causing havoc (which he did with only his mates), they tried to save him from things like bad manners and habits which only they found annoying. They tried to mold him. He found that incredibly disappointing as he expected only his family was capable of such cruelty.

Fern was a relief from all that tension. She embodied the parts of girls he _enjoyed_ , albeit that reason a bit sexist. But it was true. He loved touching girls and kissing them and being sexual with them. And luckily Fern enjoyed that from him. She was none of the headache that usually came with a girlfriend. The drama, the jealousy, the controlling nature, the stalking: she was none of that. Even better, Fern had an undercurrent of spunk! She would reveal a bit of sarcasm and wit when she wasn't so mysterious and calculating. Now, her forced formalities made him feel pitiful. Like she was doing him a favor. It wasn't as if they had heart-to-hearts before. But now even a simple hello made him look like an imbecile.

Why would she be so distant all of a sudden. Why would her friend be so adamant to keep them from seeing each other.

One Sunday night, a horrible thought occurred to him. He sat upright in bed in a semi-cold sweat.

" _She's in love with me_ ," he said to himself in horror. "Oh man," he groaned whilst rolling his eyes closed and letting himself fall backwards in bed.

He wracked his brains all night thinking of what to do. He couldn't just _leave_ it. They were mates! He wanted to stay mates or at least on friendly terms. He wasn't entirely done with Frances Khan.

Honesty. Honesty is key, he convinced himself. _I should just break the tension and come out with it_ , he planned. The faster they talk about it the fast they can get past it. Conveniently, he did not see her the rest of the week until Friday when he thought he'd be proactive and search for her. The map told him she was headed out of the library when it was close to dinner time. Sirius bid his friends adieu and found the Hufflepuff as she was in the fourth floor corridor.

"We need to talk," Sirius said approaching her with what he hoped was a confident stride. When she heard him, she turned and raised her eyebrows at him in a rare display of surprise. It soon melted into a cordial ennui and she looked at him expectantly.

"We need to talk," he said when he finally stopped in front of her and a few beats of terse silence bloomed. She looked at him incredulously.

"Go on," she finally said making Sirius feel like a numpty.

"Oh, er. What's going on with you?" he finally asked lamely. Fern jutted her chin out puzzled, waiting for him to explain or continue. "You're being . . . distant. I dunno. You're like . . . being . . . Mean! You're being mean!" Sirius finally yelled out and he hated that he didn't put more thought into what he was going to say. Fern looked amused with him as if he were a child.

"Sorry?" she quipped, gracious enough in granting him another chance to explain. He swallowed the disturbing amount of saliva that accumulated in his mouth as a way to gather his wits.

"You're acting really distant and cold around me and I wanted to know if there was something we could fix," he spoke the first sentence that made him feel a bit more in control.

"Not really," she finally settled.

"There! That! What you said just then! You've been giving me the slip and making me feel like a duffer!" Sirius caught her in the act. Fern looked impressed that he finally spoke up about it.

"Well what do you want me to say?" Fern ran a hand through her hair as if they were casually talking about the weather. "It's true. I _am_ being distant. But it's because it's nothing you could fix," she chuckled. "I thought I'd do you the favor of leaving you out of my mess."

"But you don't have to keep me out, y'know," he tried. "You don't keep that from mates." Fern flinched. Sirius frowned.

"That'd be weird though," she played it off with her typical Fern 'cool' attitude. Her whisper of a smile and hooded eyes. "You have a girlfriend and I don't want to make her uncomfortable," she trailed off without a trace of discomfort. She gave him a shrug as a substitute for a goodbye and walked around him.

"Is it because you're in love with me?" Sirius couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. He heard her footsteps end abruptly so he turned around to face her with a deep breath. "It's fine," he drawled in a light tone to indicate he wasn't going to make a big deal about it. "It's a bit awkward, I'll admit. But we can get over it!" he smiled and approached Fern's turned back. "Let's just put this all behind us, eh?" he said rounding on her. In the pit of his stomach he felt something. Something that was telling him he had made a mistake and his smile faded when he saw the girl's face.

Fern was looking at him, her lips parted in unspoken words and eyes full of regret. Regret for what she was about to say.

"How lonely it must be," she whispered brokenly. "To look for love everywhere it's not." Sirius' looked just as he felt: hurt. "And how could I love someone," she paused to really look at him as if she was embarrassed of his mistake. "Like _you_?"

That was all Fern had to say. His own mind would fill in the blanks. _Like you,_ like a . . . screw up, coward, fool, monster; whatever the most applicable sore spot for him would take hold. All she had to do was lead him on to the thought and his worst fear would manifest by itself. She didn't need to know what the worst he thought of himself. She didn't stay to look at his pained expression, so she solemnly left him alone by himself.

She was lucky that he had breached the subject himself. He was so persistent to stay in contact with her that he wouldn't take her planned sit down "break up" without a fight. She had to be cruel. So he would never come back to her. So it would be easier for him to forget her. Her. The real monster. That night she slept with Abithica in her bed so she didn't think about the guilt eating her her stomach. The anxiety that wracked her with coughs.

Sirius slipped into a bit of state after that horrific experience. The combined humiliation of assuming she was in love with him and her ruthless rejection of the thought of loving him had set him foul that weekend. He fought with a random Slytherin which led to his detention by an alerted professor. He fought with his friends who sought to understand his bad mood. He ignored Heather repeatedly sending her away practically in tears. His anger led him to thoughts of revenge. To sully Fern's name by labeling her a slag. But those thoughts made him uncomfortable as soon as they crept into his mind and thought no more of it. He suffered his mortification silently and broodingly. He found himself staring into the fireplace in his common room bitterly by himself as everyone was at dinner.

"Not eating tonight Sirius?" A female voice in passing called out to him. When she received no response she backtracked and sat next to him. "Hey, you alright?" she asked carefully. Sirius slowly looked at her with bitterness still emanating from his gaze. Elie was in his year but they never talked beside the passing pleasantries.

"You look so sad," she said quietly with softness in her eyes. "We don't have to talk. I can give you space if that's what you need right now." Sirius mistook her kindness and leaned forward to kiss her in a dizzy push. Just as her mouth eagerly returned his invitation Sirius pulled away guiltily.

"I- I'm sorry. I'm not right. . . at the moment," he slurred while his eyes were blurring over from the heat of the fire.

"It's okay," she whispered, still very close to his face. When he didn't move away, she gently resumed her mouth on his. Sirius confused and muddled in his mood, immediately let his physical drive take over. He had Elie on her back soon enough as he kissed her harder and rougher. Before he could comprehend what was happening, he carried her, she straddling him, up the stairs to his room. His clothes were off, as were hers.

"Are you sure," he murmured in a brief moment of clarity.

"Yeah," she said. "I want to make you feel better," she breathed before they joined lips. Sirius froze. Elie pulled away when she noticed his tension. He took a step back, slipping out of her embrace and looked away, ashamed of himself.

"I'm so sorry," was all he could say. He retreated to his bathroom unable to see the poor girl leave. Sirius fell asleep in the bathtub that nobody used, that night. Of course it gave James a terrible fright but let his mate be, happy that he wasn't self destructing; a real possibility for Sirius Black.

Fern wasn't in great shape either. Though nobody would ever guess the wiser as she remained as cool and collected as ever. She didn't really interact with much of her Housemates but still kept up her niceties and small talk. On the inside she was feeling downright awful about how she had to treat Sirius. The look on his face when she unleashed those horrible words to him made her want to tell him the truth. But that would hurt him more. So rotten, she would feel. She stayed awake at night replaying the conversation in her head.

"You did the right thing Fern," Abithica attempted to comfort her. Abithica only stared at the Transfiguration blackboard in front of her despondently. "Oy," her friend said pulling on her shoulder. "You're the hero," Abithica snapped. "Don't you ever dare feel like you ain't. I won't allow it," Abithica closed her book moodily. Fern snorted lightly at her friend's melodrama.

"I can't have you upset with me," Fern said quietly, grabbing the blonde's hand. Abithica's nose twitched as she attempted to be cross. "Abs," Fern pressed. "I don't want to spend what's left of Hogwarts with you mad at me."

Abithica looked at Fern sharply. "What have I told you about saying such rubbish around me," Abithica bit. She huffed. "I'll see you at lunch," she muttered before leaving the classroom.

"Everything alright Miss Khan?" McGonagall asked as she noticed Fern was still sitting in her seat looking at her desk spacey. Fern looked up with a tranquil look.

"Just feeling human is all, Professor," Fern spoke as if her mouth was full of cotton. McGonagall nodded stiffly and hesitated before leaving the classroom a bit uncomfortably. When all was quiet and empty, Fern covered her mouth as to not let herself audibly sob.


	9. Chapter 9

May came slowly and ended the rainy days. The sun made appearances more frequently and helped the flowers bloom on the more exotic trees scattered around Hogwarts. Fern's health was practically back to speed and she functioned just as well as she arrived at the beginning of the term. She took to strolling outside as much as she could, her cabin fever was residing the more she spent outdoors. Her listlessness was subdued considerably. Yet the burden of her guilt had not subsided. Fern stared at the Black Lake for answers.

She missed him. Even though she had previously been guarded around him, comfort and normalcy just came naturally in his presence. Effortlessness. The kind you find in true friendship. That is if she had ever allowed it. It was right, she told herself, to end things sooner than she get attached. Abithica was wrong about one thing, however. Fern didn't tell him the truth and still had to break his heart. Lost in her thoughts, Fern didn't realize a wandering Slytherin had spotted her.

"Hey," the Slytherin greeted, bashfully sidling up to the Hufflepuff.

"Alright Jess?" Fern threw her a grin.

Jessica looked a bit tense as she looked around to see if anybody she knew was near them.

"I had fun last night," she finally said with a blush. Fern bit the inside of her cheek and gazed flirtily back at her.

"Me too," Fern smiled and motioned for the sixth year to sit. Jess, now feeling a bit more secure, obliged. They had spending a little more time together outside of school hours. Though of course Fern knew that Jess was just experimenting (it was the 70's for Christ sake; who _wasn't_ exploring for that matter); their little stolen moments were helping Fern feel good about something in her life. Light kisses in forgotten broom cupboards turned to heavy snogging behind shadowed statues and then, last night, some heavy petting.

"What I'd give to be a sixth year all over again. Just one more year," Jess sighed, cerulean eyes looking out at the Lake with admiration. Fern smiled wistfully as she saw a tentacle make a splash.

"I think I wish that every year," Fern chuckled slightly. "Just _one_ more year. It's never enough though, is it?"

"No," Jess agreed darkly. "It's not." Fern boldly observed the girl next to her, who seemed to be looking out at the water bitterly. As if she had accepted her fate of something horrible. A look that Fern wished she, herself, could wear as audaciously.

"Jess?" Fern asked gently, bringing the honey haired girl out of her glossy-eyed reverie. The Slytherin, still with a hard look on her face, breathed in shakily. Her long pink lips were tightly pressed together trying to hold in some sort of admission.

Without looking at the Hufflepuff she finally whispered, "I don't want to go back."

The spring was hinting at the blossoming of new revelations. The rebirth was not yet to come, but being prepped for by sixth years all over Hogwarts. The Head of Houses were meeting with students to get them ready for their complete and final year in the education system which would come after summer break. So that they could ponder over their holiday, the sixth years discuss the variety of options that beheld them outside of Hogwarts. When they would return as seventh years, they would be expected to start applying to be contributors to the wizarding society.

Fern dreaded coming to this part of the year. Her _future_. She scoffed acidly at even the thought. The meeting was useless for her. So when her meeting was _actually_ scheduled, she felt insulted. Professor Sprout _knew_ about her situation. Why would she be so cruel to even entertain the idea.

"Miss Khan! Please," Professor Sprout waved her hand in front of her magnificent mahogany desk, its legs spreading into roots which sprouted leafy but tender cocoon seats. Enchanted sunlight streamed through the leaves of the ceiling creating soft spotlights around the office, which usually comforted Fern. The forest-like atmosphere was ever so mocking now.

"No thank you," Fern said politely but stiffly. "I can't imagine this taking too long."

"Please," Sprout's smile didn't falter, nor did her outstretched hand. Fern bored a hole in her Professor's face with her aggravated stare. In the end she could only obey her superior and she seated herself rigidly. Sprout went on with her spiel. "We'll start with your grades then. They're not bad. Quite average, in fact. Nothing that you can be embarassed about. . . yet it's quite clear that you can, indeed, do better if you actually tried-"

"If you don't mind Professor, what is this about?" Fern tried to not to snap but her interruption went unnoticed by the teacher.

"You're coasting by, really. It's impressive how consistent your grades are kept," she said looking at the parchments in front of her scrutinizingly. "If there were dips then I'd be able to eliminate your weaker subjects. But there aren't any spikes either, to indicate your strengths! How interesting! it's entirely up to you to decide what you'd like to pursue later on-"

"Why are you doing this?" Fern almost whispered looking at Sprout with pained query.

"The sky's the limit! Whatever you feel like . . . oh, Fern. What's wrong, love?" Sprout's face softened as a tear managed to escape the Hufflepuff's flooded eyes.

"You know what's wrong," her voice quivered. "You know I can't have any of that," she bit looking away angrily.

"Of course you can-" Sprout offered a gentle smile. The professor embodied everything that a Hufflepuff aimed to be. Kind and gentle. Motherly and tender. But Fern found that this most popular badger trait was a bit flippant at times. Fern didn't want kindness or generosity. That would not help her. What she wanted and needed was understanding. An understanding that both received and delivered respect. Right now, Fern did not need Sprout's kindness. It was disrespectful.

"No I cannot!" Fern snapped

"Yes you bloody can!" Sprout stood up with such temper that the flora hanging from the ceiling started to wilt. Fern looked at the Professor with resentment but the older woman only looked possessed. "You can!" She repeated with gusto hitting her desk with her palm bouncing off the surface. "And you will, by Merlin's bloody beard!" She finally took her seat with slow control, pushing her dark curls back with her long slender fingers. The grays peaked at her roots without any mercy.

"Please be reasonable Professor," Fern tried with a tiredness that upset the Professor.

"I will not have you speaking as if you are committed to your grave," Sprout huffed. "You will continue to receive your Hogwarts education unlike any other student that has walked through these halls! And I will provide you with goals I know you can achieve!"

A moment of terse silence passed between the novice and mentor in that one could hear some of the flowers outside the Professor's office singing of the pleasant weather.

"But why would you be so cruel?" Fern asked gently with a sympathetic smile, making Pomona feel as if she was a first year being chided by her Professor Beery many years ago.

Fern was lucky her meeting with Sprout lay on her block reserved for Potions, her last class of the day before dinner. She figured she'd catch up on her missed Potions reading outside before the sunset.

"Mind if ye' get some company?"

"Elsie, love. I wouldn't have it any other way," Fern beamed at her Gryffindor friend. Fern offered Elsie her arm and the two took off towards the towering open wooden doors. "I haven't seen you all month, I think," Fern thought to the last bit of April. "How're you doing?"

"Pure dead brilliant," the Scot grinned at her as they found a nice empty niche in the courtyard in front of the babbling fountain. Fern couldn't help but fondly admire her friend and her Scottish slang. "I thought thon NEWTs were gon' be th' last o' me but I jus' finished up with McG and she telt me I'm doin' "swimmingly"" Elsie mimicked the Head of Gryffindor perfectly. "It's more than I'd hope for ta' be honest."

Elsie came from a small family from Edinborough consisting of one muggle mother and a wizarding father. Elsie had lost her father sometime in the beginning of the year during a Death Eater raid. Elsie, being the only child of her parents, was brought up like a son and a daughter. She was the jewel of her family's crown when her father was around but now, she was the crown itself; she now was the protector and provider. Elsie allowed herself to mourn for about six months but then came out of the ordeal stronger. She spoke nothing else of becoming an auror. Her mother's safety as well as the safety of any other vulnerable child was Elsie's prerogative. Fern knew loss and when she looked at Elsie she didn't see pain, but strength.

But before Elsie could question how Fern's own meeting had gone, she intervened, "So tell me what you've heard."

Though a warrior of heart, Elsie was a terrible gossip. She collected and pieced together news of Hogwarts faster than anybody else. Luck would have it that Fern was just as hungry for gossip as Elsie was. The only difference was that Fern only listened but never spread. She swallowed the whisperings and stories of other students as fast as it was fed to her, not ever sharing morsels to anyone else. Elsie was glad to indulge the news to the Hufflepuff knowing it wouldn't spread past the two of them.

"Wickery got caught cheating on his exam a few weeks ago!" Elsie's face turned into a grin, getting joy out of telling her stories. "And Flitwick forced 'em on his knees so 'e could give 'em an earful,"

Fern covered her mouth trying not to laugh too loud and grab people's attention.

"You're lying!" Fern gasped trying to imagine the six foot Quidditch player on his knees being reprimanded.

"Naw, Leah saw 'em with her own eyes. 'E was a right sad sight. Speakin' o' cheatin' did ye hear about Sirius Black?" Elsie didn't give her a chance to reply. "He and that fifth year Ravenclaw, Heather ar' finished! Everyone jus' about found out tha' they been quits for weeks now! Imagine tha'! Nobody knew th' wiser,"

Fern's eyebrows rose to Elsie's delight. "That is quite the something," Fern drawled. She put aside her own history with Sirius to _try_ to enjoy the gossip.

"Of cours' I knew it was comin'," Elsie lowered her voice. "A second year caught Sirius making out with _Elie_ , tha' girl tha's tried ta' get James Potter's affections!" Fern's eyes widened and lips parted. She knew Sirius to be lecherous but not disloyal. He never touched Fern when he was officially dating other girls. It was something she respected about him.

"Is that so," Fern managed.

"Second years and their big mouths," Elsie rolled her eyes. "But word is tha' Sirius was th' one ta' end it before th' second year even opened 'is mouth,"

Disloyal but not without honor, Fern couldn't help but think.

"You Gryffindors and your bravery," Fern rolled her eyes and Elsie threw her head back and gave a huge laugh.

"I'll agree wit' ya' there," Elsie jostled Fern's shoulder with her own.

Before she could help it, Fern found herself asking, "How does he look?" She was lucky that this was the only context that made sense for her to be inquiring about Sirius Black's state. She knew for her own sake she shouldn't be asking, but the question burst out of her without a warning. She wanted to know if he still looked miserable. If he still was hurting. If _she_ was still hurting him. She hated herself for wanting to know so badly.

Elsie must not have noticed because she pondered on the question. "He looks. . ." Elsie became distracted. "Aye, keep the heid," Elsie's voice lowered as her eyes were trained on something ahead. Fern followed her line of sight and saw Remus Lupin and James Potter walking out of the Hogwart's entrance. Fern felt a stab of panic when she saw the aforementioned boy's cohorts appearing as if they were to right the wrongs of anyone who slighted their friend. Fern was glad they hadn't noticed the girls until Elsie opened her big Gryffindor mouth.

"Wotcher boys!" she whistled. The panic came back and Fern managed to mask her anxiety with apathy. James immediately looked towards the whistle whereas Remus didn't pay attention until his friend stopped. But it was Remus, who after noticing Fern with a bit of surprise, approached the girls.

"Alright Elsie?" Remus asked his Housemate while looking right at Fern who met his gaze with cool indifference.

"I see you've survived McGonagall," James followed soon after with a wry grin. "Did she tell you off for anything?" James spared a glance to Fern and gave her careless nod. He didn't even remember her.

"Not really," Elsie practically batted her eyelashes. "She said she was impressed wi' me, actually,"

"Get out," James rolled his eyes. Elsie shrugged. "Why's she gotta be impressed with you and give me n' Sirius a telling off! She could do that any other time," he griped. Fern tried not to act like she was affected by his name as Remus was still staring at her unabashedly.

"Got somethin' ta' say ther' Lupin?" Elsie called him out cheekily. James looked to his friend as well questioningly.

"Want to go to the game with me?" Remus finally spoke directly to Fern without a moment to spare. A moment of shocked silence passed through the other three.

"'Atta boy!" James clapped his friend on the back (who didn't look like he was in the mood for frivolity) and turned his attention to the Hufflepuff. Fern assumed he was talking about the Quidditch match that weekend, the last before the term was over, between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.

"I wasn't planning on going," Fern finally spoke without a trace of discomfort. Elsie grinned, eager to see Remus Lupin try to change her mind. James looked just as amused. It seemed that Remus and Fern were the only two to know that this excursion was to be anything but romantic. Fern knew this was a trap that she wouldn't be able to evade. She wouldn't be able to turn him down with an audience without looking like she was playing hard to get.

"C'mon then! Where's your school pride!" James felt it necessary to be his friend's wing-man as he rarely saw him dating in the traditional sense. "Remus is _great_ company!"

"James," Remus muttered, still keeping his eyes locked on Fern. He tried to convey her an expecting look that encouraged an answer.

"Fine," she said without blinking, practically annoyed to see James Potter give a loud whoop. She knew that this chat was due for many months, but about his best friend or her secret was yet to her knowledge.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note:** Go ahead and comment me your opinions! I love to hear them still :)

A little fun fact, this whole story is pretty much inspired by the Arctic Monkey's song "Do Me A Favor." Give it a listen if you want to get in the mood for this chapter!

* * *

"I'm not speaking to you."

"Where's that brown scarf you got from Harrod's?"

"I can't be complicit in this- no, no, behind the red sweater. I refuse to help you."

"Boots?" Fern asked, ignoring Abithica's dramatics.

"Why are you even bothering to speak with me? Wear the brown ones," Abithica turned her nose up, peeking out of the corner of her eye to make sure Fern was dressing optimally.

There was a knock on the door and a few seconds of silence before the door creaked open. Sandy brown mussed hair peaked through following large curious green eyes. When they were sure everyone was decent, they fully entered looking a bit annoyed.

"I've been waiting for half an hour. The game started already," Remus Lupin, a boy who prided himself on his composure, spoke irritably.

"It's not as if we're going for the game," Fern said over her shoulder while she pulled on a thick black woolen peacoat that belonged to one of Abithica's old boyfriends, but now hung off of Fern's shoulders fashionably well. Abithica was now tying a brown scarf around Fern's neck as she slipped her feet into some dark brown boots.

"Hat?" Abithica questioned and Remus groaned. He took a seat on the bed closest to the door, Abithica's, while he watched Fern primp.

"All that for me?" he muttered, almost bitterly. If Fern had heard, she made no indication. The last thing left was the chocolate colored wide brimmed hat which was charmed to not fly off her head from the windy weather.

"Shall we?"

Remus looked up to see Fern standing in front of him, bundled in dark clothing. Mouth full of chewing gum and hands in her pockets she looked at him innocently. Not one thing about her appearance made her look as if she belonged to a House, regardless of the black.

"Whose funeral then?" he asked jokingly as he stood up slowly.

"Mine," she winked and went through the door. Remus had a terrible feeling she wasn't joking and at the same time, that was her joke. Making to follow, Remus was stopped by a hand on his arm. Abithica was staring at him solemnly.

"I know this isn't a date," Abithica spoke sternly, her grip unmoving. "It's about him." Remus didn't respond but he felt like he didn't have to. "I don't know _what_ you know. . . but I know you know _enough_ ," Abithica's tone became dangerous. "This better _only_ be about him," she said before letting go of his arm. Remus felt like he just faced a boggart, as he finally made his way to his waiting date, who looked as if she was expecting him and not the other way around.

"Still want to take me out?" she asked him with mirth shining in her eyes, knowing very well that Abithica had just threatened him. Remus scoffed. She was playing him like a fiddle. All the bravery he had to ask her to this point was worthless the minute he had her alone. Regardlessly, he silently offered his arm to her and escorted her to the pitch. They had the good fortune to not pass many people as they were quite late, not even fashionably so. But the thought struck Remus that Fern had planned to be this late so they wouldn't be seen together.

They took their time to the stands which were overcrowded from students and staff alike. Fern was starting to feel like this was a waste of time altogether. She felt Remus tug on her sleeve.

"C'mon," he yelled in her ear over the hundreds of cheering voices. He led her up one of the towers (rather than the open stands) that usually was filled beyond capacity as they were the best seats to watch the Quidditch game from above. After what felt like forever, they reached the very top where the entire top bench was untouched by anybody. Some of the younger students eyed the bench greedily but didn't dare to sit. Remus led Fern easily onto the isolated bench where they could see the entire pitch without a single strain of the neck. Soon the rest of the box found it cumbersome to keep looking back at the pair and focused their attention on the game at hand.

"I'm against most of them, but I won't fight some perks," Remus said bashfully, keeping his hands politely in his lap. He even kept a respectable distance between them to ensure her he didn't bring her for a purpose beyond business.

Fern stared at the sight in front of her. Everyone was jumping up and down out of joy rooting for their favorite team. Sounds of laughter and cheering and chanting was warming. The Quidditch players themselves darting around above looked like a dance of colors. It wasn't hard to find James Potter, a boy of little want but attention. He did dangerous stunts as a Chaser and involved his audience as much as possible. He wanted to put on a show. Sirius on the other hand was all for the sport. His concentration lie only at protection of his team members. It was as if he didn't even know he was being watched by the entirety of the school.

"He doesn't show it but he's upset," Remus finally spoke, his eyes trained on the game. Fern didn't bother to exchange glances either.

"He's talked about it?" she questioned casually following the quaffle's pattern of movement with her eyes.

"Of course not. Though he adamantly denies it, he's first a Black, through and through. Secondly, he doesn't have to," Remus replied. "He's upset Fern."

"I suspected as much or else we wouldn't be having this tête-à-tête," she paused to allow the crowd to cheer for Ravenclaw's score. "I suppose the real question is what you expect me to do of it," she resumed.

"What did you say to him," he demanded. Fern looked away from the game for a moment. "Undo it."

"I'm not proud," she said gravely. "I'm not happy about this either, if it's worth something."

"You don't have to shut him out, you know. You can trust him,"

"I know."

"He's not _not_ loyal. He's a _good_ friend."

"Remus, I _know_."

"Why can't you just be friends with the lad?" Remus finally looked at her to see her staring at the back of a student's head fixedly as if it held the answers to her problems.

She laughed bitterly when he finally uttered the words and looked back up to the game. "That's the problem with you Marauders," she said with a playful jib, not straying her eyes away from Sirius now. "You think that the world owes you something." Sirius was looking furiously at the other team, looking to murder.

Her statement struck Remus. Did he? Everything that he ever did for his friends was out of the love he had for them. But he never thought about the people he plowed through. The professors he had to sweeten over, the students he had to use, the girls that he snogged. They were all at the palm of their hands. They never had to ask of anything thinking they wouldn't get it. She was right.

"You're right," he admitted humbly. "I can't force you to do anything. But you can't possibly blame me for asking that of you," Remus finally spoke. He was surprised when Fern covered his hand with her own. He looked at her this time.

"Don't be ashamed. I'm not here to awaken any moral conscience within you," she said gently and Remus frowned feeling something wrong with the moment. "I suppose I'm just the person to remind you that you can't always have your way. You don't deserve it like you think you do. You don't."

Remus Lupin was a werewolf. He out of anybody in the entire school knew that he couldn't have his way. But never once, at Hogwarts, with his friends, did he feel that way. But Fern stabbed him through the chink in his armor when he wasn't looking. Remus stared at her taken aback.

"You're- you're doing it to me," he finally said as he searched her eyes. "You doing to me what you did to him. You're trying to hurt me," he said slowly. Fern smiled and didn't refute. "Don't," he managed to say but nothing more.

She leaned in so that their faces were breaths away. Though he didn't hesitate, Fern noticed him swallow. Without closing her eyes, she pressed her lips against his cold unmoving ones for about four heartbeats before pulling away.

The crowd suddenly started with a fright, unlike the jovial cheers from before. Everyone was staring at the player hanging from his broom with one arm. Remus looked sharply at Fern who was scaling down the steps away from the stands before disappearing.

Sirius had saw them. It was as she intended.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to think. Remus tried to play it Fern's way. He thought of what would follow: Sirius would yell at him. Remus would yell back that it wasn't what he thought it was. Sirius wouldn't listen. Both would fight with harsh words exchanged. Eventually they would both make up with an enemy in mind who caused their problems to begin with: Fern.

She was trying to solidify a hate for her- for as long as Remus was trying to push them together she wouldn't be able to escape. Remus ran after Fern as fast as he could not caring about the Quidditch game he left behind. He was able to catch up to Fern as she was the only person walking slowly back to the castle. When he managed to reach her he yanked her back to meet her shocked and almost frightened expression. Her light brown eyes were glossy and nose tinged pink.

"Don't do this!" Remus shouted at her above the wind. "This is hurting you too!"

"Why do you care! Just leave me be Remus!" Fern cried out as if she was pained to do it.

"Why are you doing this?" Remus tried, keeping a hand on her wrist so she wasn't able to wriggle herself away.

"You know why!" she used both hands to push his shoulders back and away from her. "I don't have time! I don't have time!" she shook her head hysterically but refusing to cry. She looked at him beggingly.

"Why won't you let me die in peace?" she finally whispered. Remus felt his eyes prick and clenched his teeth.

"I won't-" he closed his eyes to swallow and get his voice back. He pulled her closer to him so he didn't have to yell. "I won't force you to be friends with us. But please- please just talk to him. End things if you must. But not like this," Remus said dipping his head so she would at least make eye contact with him. Her bottom lip quivered.

"Will you wait with me?" she whispered barely able to meet his gaze. Remus nodded shakily.

It didn't feel long enough for the game to be over. Fern wished that it would go on all night. Eventually, it ended with a roar as red and yellow sparks exploded in the stadium above. Students were flooding out en masse in a sea of different colors. Remus kept a hand on Fern's elbow to steady her. Soon it was just them again albeit handful of students were still ambling. The Ravenclaw team had just headed back to the tower with bitter looks on their faces whereas the Gryffindor team was still yet to emerge.

"What a game mate! What a bloody game!" James Potter's voice was heard before seen. "I'm going to get so _bladdered_ tonight mate I'm going to go off me fucking head!"

Sirius exited the pitch last. He felt like he was trudging through a dream that he couldn't get out of. He saw Remus standing with Fern and his gut felt like it had been punched. _Repeatedly_. When he saw them from the stands kissing he felt sick to his stomach. She picked _Remus_. Remus? He didn't even know that they were . . . he missed the bludger coming to his head and narrowly missed it by swinging off his broom. When he looked back to the stand in which they were sitting, they were gone.

Remus deserved her, he supposed. She was nice enough. He deserved to be happy. Sirius didn't expect them to be waiting for him when he came through however. Fern had her back to him while Remus was only angling his shoulder as he was saying something to Fern in low voice.

Suddenly Remus went to pull James towards the castle and Fern slowly turned around. Her face looked considerably pale with eyes rimmed red and cheeks splotchy. He had never seen her cry before. He felt all previous sensations of resentment wash away from him. She took her large hat off and wrung it in her hands while he walked slowly to her. She attempted to keep eye contact with him until he was within earshot, when she lowered her gaze.

"I'm sorry," she rasped before looking back up with glossy eyes. Sirius looked out to the mountainous range of Scotland and cleared his throat.

"Do you care for him?" he asked gruffly.

"I was trying to hurt you," Fern admitted and Sirius whipped his face to look at her. "And him." He opened his mouth to try to find an appropriate response. But he was unable to so he looked back at the mountains with frustration.

"I want to end things between us," she spoke much more softly this time.

"Why," he finally found his voice. "Was it- was it something I did? I broke up with Heather-"

"I just don't want to do this anymore," she said her voice quivering. "I wanted to say sorry for what I said before."

"Don't apologize for not loving me," he shook his head but couldn't find the courage to look at her.

"Don't think that you're not loved," she maintained her focus on him. "Because you are Sirius Black. Don't _ever_ let anybody make you feel you're not," she said the last part sternly. He finally looked at her and felt a painful pinch in his stomach. He took in her words carefully, trying not to misinterpret anything between them. He couldn't make that mistake again.

"So let's just start over-"

"Sirius. . . ."

"No come on Fern, let's put all this behind us-"

"Sirius, it's over," she said with such finality that he began to panic.

"Friends don't just-"

"We're not friends."

The punch in the gut was harder this time.

"Yes we are," Sirius pressed. "You know so much about me," he tried to reason. "I've told you so much."

"We're not friends," she laughed sadly. "I never asked to hear those things. And you know nothing about me," Fern whispered. Sirius frowned. "Did you know I'm a muggleborn? Or how old I am at this moment? What classes I'm taking?" She was right.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm not holding it against you," she sighed. "McGonagall knows you practically better than I do but would you consider her a mate?" She was right, again.

"I'm not- see! This is why I needed to hurt you. So you could hate me for saying something mean. You'd resent me and never think of me again. But now it's come to this and I have to hurt you with this awful truth," her voice started to pitch and she used her fist to cover her mouth. This was it.

"You really don't want to be friends with me?" Sirius asked weakly, unable to hear anything more from her. The way she stared at him made him feel like she was about to give up. She shook her head solemnly.

"I'm leaving after Hogwarts." Sirius looked shocked. "I'm not staying in England. And I'm not keeping in touch with anybody. So it's better if we say goodbye now rather than make it something dramatic and all later," she looked away. He stared at her taking in her long dark hair framing her heart shaped face. Her large round clear brown eyes avoiding his. Her elongated straight nose that stuck out slightly farther than average. Her thicker bottom lip pouting below the thinner top.

"Then that's it," he nodded looking at her hard for one last time. Before he could stop himself he grabbed her arm. "Fern. McGonagall isn't my mate. But that doesn't mean I don't care for her. And if I lost her, it would still hurt," he said in clenched teeth. Fern used her free hand to cup his face looking at him what he wished was lovingly, and with that she left him.

Sirius looked back to Scotland's Highlands. His nose pricked and eyes watered. He'd been rejected and broken up with by girls before. But he never been abandoned by someone he considered a friend. By Merlin, he still considered her a friend. The sacrifice she made so that he would hate her was only something a friend would do, whether she'd admit it or not. Sirius was surprised as to why he held on to her for so long. So desperately. So pathetically. He hadn't bothered a knut about his own family and took leave without a second of regret. In fact he hadn't even thought about them until now. But Fern. Fern, he held onto. And now he couldn't.

But this is what she wanted, so he wouldn't dare force her. Girls like Fern deserved to get their own way.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Sirius swallowed thickly.

"We leave her alone now. Understand? We'll have nothing more to do with her," Sirius said gravelly, not able to face Remus.

"It's just us, mate," Remus said, trying to mask his heartbreak for the two.

When Fern had reached her room, Abithica had been waiting for her with woeful eyes.

"He," Fern's voice quivered. "He's gone!" she cried not bothering to hide her tears.

"Oh my heart," Abithica sighed and opened her arms. "Why'd you have to go an' fall in love?" she chastised the brunette softly. Fern sobbed all through the night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note:** _The disclaimer still holds valid. Please refer to the first chapter for my lack of liability for copyright material._

 ** _1976_**

There was only one person who looked sourly out the window from her seat in the library towards the middle of June. The sun was shining, the sparrows chirping, the Giant Squid was splashing, and Fern was sulking. Some students, like her, were finished with their exams and were celebrating their free time outside or in the Great Hall with their friends. Fern rolled her eyes back and massaged her temple with her fingers as she heard the laughter of the carefree Gryffindor girls outside.

"Oh! Sorry!" Interrupted her sulking. Then, "Ah, it's just you," Fern's eyes snapped open to see the tallest boy she'd ever seen in her life. She eyed his turban which was a brilliant dark hue of blue. The kind of blue that everyone has witnessed once in their life when they look up at the night sky and are able to peer into forever.

"Didn't know you were so House spirited," Fern chuckled at him as she sat up a little straighter.

Sukhwinder "Sukhi" Gill had always sported a black colored turban as long as he could help it. Whenever he was asked why he didn't don any other colors, like the one other girl who wore a hijab , Sukhi joked that he didn't dare compete with her beauty. In fact, his turban was charmed so that other students couldn't change it colors for their idea of a joke. His ability to be so care-free and amicable made him the Ravenclaw sweetheart in no time. It was a wonder he wasn't placed in Hufflepuff, except that he excelled in every single NEWT known to wizard.

"My last day as a Ravenclaw, why not," Sukhi grinned and shrugged, leaning against one of the bookcases. He had the ability of looking so well put together that his uniform always looked as if they were stitched that morning. His collar crisp and sweater starched.

The lighting in the library illuminated his chiseled jaw and shaded his dark brown eyes through his thick lashes.

"How'd your exams go? You accept that Ministry offer yet?" Fern asked him kindly. He sighed and looked a bit pained to answer while he shifted from one leg to the other.

"Yeah, I did," he said almost ashamedly staring at the book in his hands. Sukhwinder had the grades and recommendations to land him a high paying position in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement but instead he was given a measly offer of pushing papers in the Department of Magical Accidents.

"Bloody racists," he muttered, his posh London accent marked with bitterness, finally taking a seat next to Fern. He looked at the girl with sorrow. "It's only going to get worse, Khan," he predicted in dismay, shaking his head at the near distant future. Fern thought he looked one hundred years old in that moment. She was frightened but scraped by a smile.

"Well I've nothing to worry about as long as you're in there, eh? You'll manage Sukh," she patted his arm. He looked at her indecipherably before a clever little smile started to grow.

"You know we would've made a right match if you had just said yes," Sukhi tried to hide his shit-eating-grin but looked like he didn't really care.

"You're absolutely right," Fern's voice was laced with sweet sarcasm. "Who knows? Maybe we would've gone out. Maybe we'd get married. And maybe _after_ our two children are going to the very school we met at, maybe _then_ you'd come out of the closet!" Fern slapped her hands on her cheeks. "A girl could only _dream_!"

Sukhi scrunched his face up the way he did when he laughed a good laugh. "Our kids would've looked damn cute though," he said through his laughter. Fern joined him.

"Yeah, eh?" she scrunched up her nose as well to entertain the thought. Sukhi smiled at her for a few moments longer and with a self-affirming nod, he stood up.

"Take care of yourself, Khan. Write to me," he said point his book at her demandingly. She watched him walk away as if he were walking out of her life.

For some reason, Fern expected some sort of feeling to resonate within her. Sorrow or maybe nostalgia. Or perhaps something akin to what she felt when she had to part with Sirius. But oddly enough, she felt nothing. She found a small amount of peace in this. Perhaps it would be this easy when she'd really have to say goodbye.

She looked back out the window a little less sour than she had before. She tried to harness that feeling as she packed up her second to last year at Hogwarts for the summer. She clawed onto the feeling of nothing as she watched the scenic Highlands blur into greens and yellows outside the cabins of the Hogwarts' Express.

She even tried to submerge herself into that feeling of nothingness when Abithica's parents were murdered by newly initiated Death Eaters that summer.

It was some cruel mistake by the heavens that the clouds parted and brought rays of sunshine upon everyone attending the funeral. It was as if somebody was laughing at them, yet nobody was accountable. The ministry had sent officials to pay their respects though they looked unmoved by just another death. Or perhaps the pain of attending another service was burned out of them by the spoils of the War long ago. Dumbledore along with Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprout attended the funeral with heavy solemnity. But Abithica saw no one. She only saw the graves of her two sole guardians being erected in front of her through magic. She heard nobody's condolences. She only heard sounds vaguely akin to words being spoken above the water that she was drowning in. She felt nothing. Yet she knew that Fern was holding her hand the entire time.

When Remus had beheld the tragedy via the Daily Prophet, he spilt his scalding tea on himself as he stood in staggered shock. He immediately owled Sirius and there wasn't a doubt in either minds that they would attend the funeral. And so the two teenagers-borderline-men stood at the outer ring of the congregation with the other non familial sympathizers, not truly feeling like they were even there. And as if a clear path was made just for him, Sirius had a straight line of sight to Abithica.

He would forever note that moment as the gravity of the the First Wizarding War hitting him. He had never lost someone to the War thus far nor attended a funeral for a victim to the War before. And so his attendance that day smacked him with a fat and sharp belt of the reality. Staring at an otherwise so lively and emotive girl's shell, standing as if her own soul was seeping out from beneath her and into the grave where her parents lay and there was nothing she could do about it. She was so beautiful and broken that Sirius had to look away for a moment, overcome with the idea that she lost her loved ones. What had Abithica's parents done wrong, he wanted to ask naively. When he looked back up, perhaps hoping to see answers, he couldn't believe he didn't process Fern standing dutifully beside her. Though who else would be?

It was the first time seeing her after months.

And she looked. . . Godric, did she look. . . well, she looked like Fern. Except she wasn't Fern. She was Frances at that moment. Hair tied up and bundled in black, a woman who was looking at death in the eyes with a jaded expression. Not to be mistaken that she wasn't as somber as Abithica's closest family. However, the funeral guests almost held a look of fear muddled with their sorrow. A fear that they too would meet their end, one day. And this horrid occasion a cruel reminder of their mortality. But not Fern. Fern looked as if she was scorning death, upset that it had chosen these people unjustly. But by Merlin, Sirius could not keep his eyes off her.

The slip of his gaze made him register that now suddenly Abithica was staring straight at him through the curtain crack of surrounding people. How long had she been staring at him with her glassy eyes, he didn't know. Though the blonde's cheeks were illuminating with streaks, she wasn't shedding any more tears as she stared right at Sirius transcending stoicism and reaching revelation. The boy's lips parted as if he could whisper a word of comfort and it would carry to her ears and give her solace. But nothing came. The silent ceremony was interrupted by a fit of coughs that was all too familiar to Sirius and Remus. Abithica, broken from her reverie for the first time all day, turned to Fern, as if it were muscle memory, to tend to her friend. Fern gave her a scolding smile and touched her forehead to her best mate's. Sirius swallowed.

"Let's get you a pint," Remus rested his hand on his best mate's shoulder. Sirius covered Remus's hand with his own and looked at him, hoping he could convey his gratitude with just a sullen look. The two found a wizarding pub in Godric's Hollow where James had joined them when he received an wizarding telegraph summoning them.

"I'm really sorry mate," James clapped Sirius on the back in the most compassionate manner he could muster.

"Why," Sirius muttered whilst bent over his mead. "I didn't lose anybody," he tried to look unbothered but James knew that his sulky manner wasn't just for show today.

"Yeah," James agreed slowly and continued in a thoughtful manner. "But your friend is hurting. And that's hurting you too," he said as if the logic was so simple. Sirius was silently struck by his best friend's words of kindness but tried not to appear too emotional. So he settled on an appreciative smile.

"I saw the obituary in the Prophet," James mentioned. "Awful business, that. Poor girl. She was the one who went mental in the Great Hall that time, right?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. And not just because of James' tact. Why yes, how could he forget. Abithica _was_ the girl who had the breakdown. And it was assumed that she had lost someone that day too.

"Who'd she lose Sirius?" Remus asked, but was surprised to see the aforementioned with threaded brows.

"I dunno, actually," he looked up with a hazy look, clearly trying to delve back into the past. He remembered Fern sitting calmly as she had expected such a reaction. She didn't even comfort Abithica, for that matter, but just _sat_ there. That was Fern though. Fortune would never favor you so much that you would ever know the inner workings of Frances Khan. But perhaps if you had the honor, you'd have your heart broken by her and still wouldn't know why.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Sirius's face swiveled in the opposite direction of his friends' gazes. Only one of them knew why but mercifully did not press.

* * *

 **Author's note:** Oh hiiiii


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note:** _Disclaimer is still in effect. Please refer to chapter one if you have any qualms. Please refer to the comment box if you have any compliments._

 **Summer of 1976**

 _Dear Miss Khan,_

 _I hope your summer has treated you with the gentlest of regards as such a witch of your nature deserves. I again wish to bestow my deepest condolences on behalf of your dearest friend's loss. These times are too cruel to the innocent and we all are bereft of humanity with each individual loss. Though we both were in attendance at the services, I felt it not appropriate to delve into such delicate subjects and matters unrelated. That being said I cannot allow this issue to be left neglected any further. I do not wish to speak out of term when I confront you of your parents' unshakable belief to bring you out of Hogwarts, that too in your final year. Your progenitors unfortunately hold the final word in how you shall proceed as it is Wizarding law. Moreover, I would like it to come to your attention that Hogwarts does not isolate those with noble intentions._

 _A pleasure to hear from you as always,_

 _Albus Dumbledore_

 _Headmaster_

 _Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

 _P.S. I hope it not too inconvenient to ask you to send along those delightful mince pies you once discussed last term. I am decidedly engrossed with such combination of fruit and sweet._

"Who's that from?" Abithica asked looking up from her breakfast. The two were seated in Abithica's new living location in Kent, via her distant muggle relatives. Fern struggled to understand how they were related, and according to Abithica, she hadn't the foggiest either since her own parents had been Pureblooded. But apparently her mother had an extended family of Muggles living in England. Though they hadn't been close, it had been enough for them to kindly take in their relative for the time being. How difficult would it be to foster a young girl who spent most of the year holed up in boarding school? Fern made it clear to her own parents that she would be staying with Abithica for the rest of the summer, to their unheard protests.

"Dumbledore," Fern mumbled while chewing on her thumb.

"Go on," Abithica raised her eyebrows lazily.

"He says if I want to go back to Hogwarts, he'll put up a fight," she stared at the letter with a bit of a pout.

"Oh my!" Mary, Abithica's third cousin-or-something, had exclaimed with fright when she spotted the snowy owl sitting unperturbed on the back of her patterned dining table seat. "How queer!" she giggled once the shock subsided. "Is he yours?"

"No, the headmasters," Fern responded civilly.

"Oh my!" Mary pressed a hand against her chest. "What an honor!" The owl seemed to be curious at the thought that a non-magic person was paying such respect to a messenger such as itself and expanded with pride. "Can I?" she nervously edged to the white bird.

"Well of course you bloody want to," Abithica ignored her Muggle relative's cooing. Fern hummed noncommittally. The blonde looked at her with exasperation. Since the unfortunate death of her parents, Abithica's mood ranged from weary to nonplussed at any moment. So it was no surprise that she wasn't humoring Fern. Mary cried out in delight when the owl bit her and extracted a smidge of blood.

"Don't be daft Fern."

And that was that.

The days leading up to their last term was filled with a lot of attempted apathy on Fern's part. Her seventh and final year. Though Dumbledore put up a strong fight, her parents never indicated any support for her returning to school. Not in her condition. But they didn't know that Fern was going anyways. Once she turned 17, they wouldn't have a hold on her. The trick was to stay far away until she did become of age. Luckily for her, Scotland was far, fary away.

Abithica and she did their school shopping in Diagon Alley like all the other English magic folk on a cool summer afternoon. Though it wasn't bustling as it was the day right before term, the two witches enjoyed the lazy shopping street with a bit of idleness. There wasn't much to talk about between them, so they strolled across the cobblestone as if they were revisiting their memories and it were twenty years in the future.

"D'you think when we meet in the afterlife, it'll look something like this?" Fern asked as they ambled along leisurely. Abithica chuckled; something she hadn't done in a while.

"How common of you to think that," she snorted. "Diagon alley? Is that the best we have in the afterlife?"

Their reverie-like day landed them in a Rosa Lee Teabag shop on High Street where Fern was hoping to restock her brand of tea which helped ease her coughs in the winter. As she was busy with the shopkeeper, she missed the unmistakably messy hair of James Potter. Abithica, however, wasn't. Without a second glance back at Fern, she hurtled out of the shop and spotted the Gryffindor she was looking for not too far behind, as was to be expected. As if she were possessed by a higher spirit, she pushed through the masses, caught him by the arm and wheeled him around to a passage between two nearby shops and smacked him against the brick wall aptly.

"Merlin's beard- A-Abi?" Sirius stuttered, unable to clear the shock from his face.

"I need your help," her eyes were wild with a look that Sirius couldn't pin down. Was it fear or anger?

"Abi love, what's happening. Are you al-"

She pushed his hands, which reached to cup her face, away. "I need your help," she swallowed again. Sirius knew that Abithica was pride personified. She would never ask for help in regarding herself. There could only be one other reason she needed help. He clenched his jaw.

"I can't," he averted his gaze. He wanted to yell that this was becoming exactly what Fern didn't want. Drama. "Is she okay?" he wanted to Cruciatus himself for blurting it out.

"Her parents want to stop her from coming back to Hogwarts," Abithica responded with anxiety. Sirius frowned. Only ultra traditional wizarding families pulled their children out of school because of the War. He never pegged Fern for having a conservative family, but then again, he didn't know her at all.

"She's Muggleborn," he suddenly remembered her chastising him with that fact. It made sense then that they were pulling her out as the War was worsening. Muggles always spooked easily.

"No, no," Abithica shook her head looking once again deranged. "You don't understand. They're leaving England!" she cried out in anguish. Everything was coming together in front of Sirius. But they were answers to questions he didn't even have. Fern's aversion to friendship. Her ominous words about leaving England. "They're taking her sooner than they were supposed to! She was supposed to. . . to," Abithica's chin started crumpling. "To leave after our last term. She can't go now. I- I can't," Abithica's voice stopped uttering words and just opted to gasp for air instead.

Sirius was at a loss for what he was supposed to do. He knew that Fern wouldn't want his help and he would lose favor in her light. He supposed there was nowhere lower to go in someone's eyes when they can't even see you. Still, he didn't fancy the thought that he was already reneging his promise to her. But seeing Abithica in his arms with panic and fear etched across her face made his answer infallible. He sighed and looked anywhere but her eyes. And nodded. The blonde's expression melted into relief and sanity.

"I'll owl you," she uttered almost breathlessly and moved to leave their clandestine spot before Fern could realize she was gone. Before she could slip away, Sirius yanked her back into the shadows and staring at her perplexed face at arm's length for two heartbeats. Unable to find words that would mean anything important to her, he pulled her into a deep embrace, her face pressed against his shoulder securely. When she realized what was happening and what this all meant, she indulged for a moment, squeezing her eyes shut when they started to water. He wordlessly disappeared first, this time, leaving Abithica to sniff away any indication of her weepiness.

Sirius spent the rest of his evening as well as the following morning nervously waiting for Abithica's owl. His mind reached no limits of his imagination as to what all this trouble was for. Fern wasn't Pureblood so she couldn't be whisked away for some wanker suitor. Perhaps the blood supremacists had reached the Muggles and threatened their lives forcing them to flee. Naturally, James knew of the whole fiasco and upheld his best friend duties to maximum abilities. Sirius sat in the staircase landing which housed a sweeping open window for the mail and their messengers to come through and land on a perch set up specifically for them. James was sprawled belly down on top of the banister, his spectacles teetering off his nose.

"D'you reckon I should've owled her first?" Sirius rubbed his hands together anxiously looking out to the empty and cloudless sky.

"I've never see you so excited about an owl before," James snorted to himself. Sirius raked both hands through his now longer hair for the umpteenth time letting his palms cup the back of his neck. He felt, what he imagined what a panic attack was, creeping up on him.

"Wotcher," James blurted. Sirius whipped his face around so fast he felt himself become dizzy yet no lightheadedness could stop him from making out a horned owl gliding through the distance. Barely giving the winged courier time to land properly, Sirius snatched the letter off its leg to the owl's displeasure. Even James sat up as his friend tore open the missive and drinking it in with erratic eyes.

"What's it say?" James had the decency to straighten up and take a note of seriousness. Sirius with slow hands and puzzled eyes gave Potter the note. James immediately noticed that the chicken scratch was written in haste as the prose was also written choppily.

 _Fern n her family were planning on moving to America after last year at HW. Her parents makin the move sooner than thought. Fern don't want to leave so think she don't know. Reckon the day HW Exp take off theyre going to lock her in. She not allowed to see me now so they prob already starting. Can't get near her or know what's happening. I'm not getting any responses._

 _xx Abi_

James looked up trying to get all the information to sink in.

"Can they do that?" he scrunched up his nose. Sirius looked befuddled.

"Legally, I s'pose," he was gnawing on his lip in thought. James took the silence to think as well. The two boys were engulfed in a stillness that didn't even exist in the Restricted Section of Hogwarts' library.

James finally looked up. "Well how're we gonna do it?" he placed his hands on his hips decidedly.

Sirius's perplexed frown slowly grew into naughty smile. "Monsieur Prongs, those words are music to my ears."

On the last night of August, Fern with glossy eyes clasped her hands together and shut her eyes and took the name of her father's Lord. She knew the time to leave was soon upon her but she needed more time. She looked at her trunk sitting ready to go because she had to have faith that stars would align and favor her with charity. Perhaps Abithica would find a way. Her parents hadn't allowed any messages reach her so she didn't know what was to happen. Fern just prayed that Abi found a way. But if she couldn't, Fern's mind faltered to a dark thought. . .

She resolved to light the trunk afire in entirety.

September first started with a mixed buzz of excitement and nervousness in the Potter household. James had coordinated with Sirius to keep his whereabouts to Mr. and Mrs Potter a secret and loaned him the Invisibility Cloak and handled their luggage. Now of proper age, Sirius was to Apparate to Fern's house (with Abithica's directions), get Fern to King's Cross at exactly 10:50 where Abithica would be waiting, and get onto the Hogwart's Express without a hitch.

"Alright mate," James said slipping his pocket watch into his friend's palm. "Make sure to time it proper. Once the Ministry's got a whiff, they'll be on you like grindylows." Sirius nodded gravely. He couldn't mess this up. With that, he Apparated to a 18th century looking town in Hampshire next to a bakery with a bright red door. He pulled out his parchment which Abithica had sent him as directions to reach Fern's house.

"So sorry," a girl had stumbled into him as she exited the bakery which he was still blocking. Sirius steadied her and sent her a careless grin and unbeknownst to him sent her heart fluttering.

"Oh, excuse me darling, but could you point me in the direction of Winston drive?" he pulled the girl's elbow back to him, making her blush at the tall 17 year old.

"Uh," she cleared her throat and stared at the parchment he was holding out. Sirius noticed the locals were sending him curious looks. It seemed that long, shaggy hair, leather jackets, and ear piercings hadn't quite reached this part of England. "It's just there," She pointed to his immediate right. He looked in the direction then back at her.

"Ah. Cheers," he said and took off in that direction ignoring the sleepy townspeople and the love-lost girl. The instructions were quite straightforward and just as Abithica had described and much to his ease he found the smallest home he ever laid eyes on. Though good on time, he worried that perhaps he didn't have the right address but the crooked and rusted '12' on the mailbox made it clear that this was the Khan residence. That and the miffed looking owl sitting on a fence nearby was undeniable. He chewed on his bottom lip trying to think of how he was going to enter the house. Sirius couldn't very well just knock on the front door. With long purposeful strides, he tried to circumambulate the house to find an entrance. He spotted a few garbage bins near a very minuscule gardening shed which looked like it could give him enough of a boost to pull himself onto the-

Sirius lost his train of thought because one of the second story windows had its curtains pulled back and a cherub shaped face practically pressed against it looking forlorn. Sirius staggered and magically enlarged the cloak and pulled it around himself. As quietly as he could, he dragged the bins to the spot underneath her window and started to climb. When he found his foot wedged against a drain pipe and a brick for support he took a moment to stare unabashedly at Fern's unsuspecting visage not but inches away, a thin pane of glass separating them.

As if somebody had laid their fist against an abandoned door, causing dust to shower off, his heart ached with a dull thump that had not beat for a long time. A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips when he realized she had cut her hair. Her thick long brown locks were now waving to just below her shoulders. Heavy bangs fell into her large brown eyes which were shining unshed tears. Any previous doubts of pulling this scheme off seemed foolish to him now. How could she just leave? How could he let her? Sirius' mouth parted as he leaned in so his lips were just centimeters away from hers.

Fern was heartbroken. She gazed distantly for a sign that she would be sprung from her makeshift prison. But the sky had no promises of wizards on brooms or impending owls. It was almost a quarter until 10. Nobody was coming for her. She would never see Hogwarts again. Dumbledore. She would never see Abithica again. She would never see-

Her heart leapt out of her chest as her window started to fog up from no visible source, just below her nose. Suddenly letters were materializing on the small patch of fog as if an invisible finger was scribing on the window.

' _Ready?'_

She covered her mouth and let out a strangled breath of air she didn't realize she was holding. Fern sprinted to her desk and in haste pulled out a parchment to write a messy note to her parents that her decision wouldn't be taken away from her. The guilt of abandoning her desperate and protective parents was as if a knife was carving her abdomen out. But she had to do this for herself. She wrote out the missive before she changed her mind. Just as she flung the parchment on her bed, she felt a grip from an invisible hand wrap around her wrist. Then, a tug at her naval. With a pop, Fern felt herself be tugged and pulled from tight gravitational forces she couldn't fight off in a haze of translucent greys and blues; as if someone were trying to pull her through a series of drainage pipes. And then it was like she couldn't breathe. The feeling left as soon as it came and she found herself plopping firmly down on a busy train station platform.

As she had been constricted of air in the mere seconds it took her to arrive, she now was able to breathe. Letting in a loud gasp of air, she fell to her knees grasping her chest. Immediately on the exhale she started coughing as if the strangulations had stopped. She hunched over, squeezed her eyes shut and covered her mouth, knowing that blood was seeping through her fingers from her mouth

"Oh my god, are you alright?" somebody had noticed the girl coughing out her heart on the platform.

"Oh thank Merlin!" a mass of blonde curly hair submerged Fern in an embrace she feared she would never feel again. "I know her, she's fine, thanks," Abithica hurriedly waved away the stranger. Fern hastily returned the hug but it was Abithica who was already pulling away. "C'mon! There's no time!"

Surprised to see her trunk dutifully perched in front of her, she placed one bloody hand in her best friend's and the other on her baggage and ran towards the brick wall planted between platforms 9 and 10.

* * *

 **Author's note** : I'm going to finish this damn story even if it kills me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note:** _Disclaimer is still in effect. Please refer to chapter one if you have any qualms. Please refer to the comment box if you have any compliments._

 **1976, Year 7, Hogwarts**

Nobody had ever seen Dumbledore himself standing at the Hogsmeade Station. It just wasn't done to have the Headmaster stand in the chilly evening outside the school walls. He wore such fine garb meant to be witnessed in the glowing light of the Great Hall that he looked like royalty standing in a stable. Whispering and mutterings had erupted amongst the older students while the younger, oblivious second and third years greeted the old wizard cordially. But Fern knew immediately that he was there for one reason. As she disembarked from the train, she naturally floated towards the tall man.

He held his palm out to her, "Welcome back Frances," he smiled politely. "Good evening to you as well Miss Contigo." Abithica nodded to him wordlessly, afraid to say anything that would warrant a reprimand. Fern had rested her hand in his allowing him to then fold her hand in the crook of his elbow. Fern exchanged a look with Abithica that was only to mean that they would meet later. Dumbledore led the brunette a bit aways to a horseless carriage that was only meant for two.

Abithica was standing by herself looking into a distance where her friend had just stood. Sirius, who had spent most of the train ride wriggling in nervousness, was relieved to finally be back at his home. James, Remus, and Peter had done their best to commend him on his Gryffindor courage which saved a girl, who estranged herself from him, but he still felt a restlessness in his heart. Now off the train, he decided to surrender himself to Abithica for one last check in before he went back to pretending her mysterious friend didn't exist. He approached the blonde carefully, trying to dodge the curious eyes of the younger class.

"You could have shown yourself," Abithica muttered without turning to look at him. "So she could see you were breaking the law for her. You don't even know her and you did all that. You could have shown her that you were helping her. You didn't." Sirius didn't know what to say to that so he just swallowed nervously. Abithica turned her head slightly. "Oh Sirius," she breathed, a tear escaping from the corner of her eye and falling to the ground without leaving a trace on her cheek.

Fern sat placidly in the carriage thinking how her last ever haul into Hogwarts was a personal escort by the most famous wizarding man himself, Dumbledore. The aforementioned man also sat serenely across from her whilst talking about a Muggle invention he heard: where one could save as many as ten parchments on a large, thin, plastic square called a floppy. But how to retrieve it was beyond him. The ten minute journey to the castle reached before anyone else had arrived, so he led her through Hogwart's threshold unceremoniously and to his grand office. To her somewhat surprise, two official looking men stood in their wizarding robes looking quite put off that they were even there.

"Have a seat Frances," Dumbledore sent a flourishing arm towards a plush brown chair near the fire. She obliged with great pleasure and rudely helped herself to the tea that was sitting unattended on a serving tray. But she knew that Dumbledore would never mind. "Now I'd like to introduce Mr. Elkon and Mr. Tiff, representatives on behalf of the Ministry."

"Pleasure," Fern practically purred over her teacup. She made sure she kept a few seconds longer eye contact with the younger representative, Mr. Elkon who looked as if he had only left school a few terms ago.

"Likewise," Mr. Tiff nodded at her while Mr. Elkon's had a blush creeping up his neck. Mr. Tiff continued, "Now our code allows us to dictate that students underage are allowed to attend this country's illustrious magical educational institution with the consent of their guardians. Unfortunately, since you are still sixteen, that means the consent of your parents must still be in compliance. We have been informed that you are attending this term without their permission, is that correct?"

Fern gazed at the men unabashedly. "Yes," she blinked slowly but offered no other explanation.

Mr. Elkon cleared his throat, "Luckily the question of how you arrived is not a concern to the Ministry since there were no traces of underage magic being performed. Though, it is curious. . ."

"As you said Mr. Elkon," Dumbledore clapped his hands together. "It is neither here nor there. Now, as Ministry officials you are bound to the law to complete your duty as deemed fit. I, too, am bound to my obligations as Headmaster to welcome my students back from their holidays. If there aren't any qualms?"

"Right," Mr. Elkon nodded. "The Ministry will have to complete the formalities and file the injunction. Once that is complete, we'll have to enforce protocol and return Frances- er, Miss Khan to her parents. Think of this as a summons in any case. We'll be in touch, Miss."

"Brilliant," Mr. Tiff barked out. "That settles that. What's on the menu tonight Dumbledore? I'll be first to admit that I miss the detail to catering you've got out here."

"It would be an honor to have you seated with us tonight sir," Dumbledore humbly requested. The Headmaster cast a glance at Fern before placing a firm hand on Mr. Tiff's shoulder and leading him out first of the office.

"Mr. Elkon, would you escort me?" Fern asked before the young official could move from his place in front of Dumbledore's desk. He cleared his throat once again before hesitantly moving forward and offering his hand. Fern coyly slipped her fingers into his hand and pulled herself up to incredibly close quarters to him.

"Er," Mr. Elkon looked anywhere but Fern, as she was practically inhaling the breaths that he exhaled.

"I'm a bit embarrassed to ask about this whole ordeal," Fern murmured surveying his face with her half lidded eyes.

"Oh, please do ask," he mustered politely, fidgeting yet not moving away.

"How long does the injunction take to process?" she asked with knotted eyebrows.

"Well," he looked up in thought. "It could take anywhere between a few weeks to a couple months, I suppose."

"Is it a lot of paperwork?" she inquired.

"Er, yeah. It's not the best way to occupy our time, what with the War n' all, but if it's got to be done. . ." he trailed off in dismay looking as if he was thinking about the paperwork to come.

"I'm sorry you had to make this trip all because of me," her words reeked of apology but her expression remained poised as ever. She lay her palms flat on his lapels and casually ran them down. "All this work," she shook her head. "If only my birthday wasn't next month and was yesterday. Then all this could have been avoided."

Mr. Elkon paused. "Next month you say?" She nodded with feigning oblivious eyes. Mr. Elkon cast his gaze to the door before he dipped his head to whisper to the brunette.

"I could. . . delay. . . the paperwork?" he offered as if she was doing him the favor. Fern let herself exhibit wide eyes of wonderment.

"Oh! Could you? Could you do that? Is that in your power?" she egged him on, clutching now at his lapels. He bit his lip and shrugged casually trying appear influential.

"I mean," she tilted her head. "I really just don't want you to go through all this trouble of all that paperwork. I mean, I will be seventeen in a month and so none of these laws will apply then! And it'll be as if this never happened. It works out brilliantly! How clever of you!" she went in for the kill and flashed him the brightest smile. She saw his expression melt into delight.

"It's really no trouble," he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "We'll both get a win out of it." Mr. Elkon seemed to no longer appear awkward and nervous. A strange new confidence had filled him up; unbeknownst to him, it was all due to the girl clutching his lapels. Looking around and as if noticing for the first time that they were alone, he took a step back. "Shall we go to dinner, then?" Mr. Elkon said offering his hand once more.

Fern looked at him and saw how earnest he was in that moment. She pulled his hand so he stumbled forward and caught his face in between her palms. Savoring his appalled face, she stood on her toes so she could press her lips against his her eyes never shutting. Before he could respond, she pulled away and looked into his fluttering eyes.

"Thank you," She said sincerely and he tilted his head in awe of this bold sixteen year old girl who aged centuries within seconds.

It wouldn't be until Mr. Elkon would retire from the Ministry, 40 years later, that he would come upon the untouched file of a Miss Frances Khan. Inside would be documents including a picture of a sixteen year old girl with a cherub face and smoldering eyes looking as if she was laughing with her gaze.

And then. Then Mr. Elkon would realize that she had played him like a fiddle. But, he would think fondly, she was kind enough to applaud his music afterwards.

Fern skirted by Great Hall, just glancing in while everyone was merrily eating away at their welcome-back-dinner. She spotted Abithica sitting with Oli, who looked as if he grew yards since the last time she saw him. Leaning against the doors, she looked down the Gryffindor table where Sirius Black sat. He rebelliously didn't change into his robes and kept on a black ratty t-shirt on over his slacks along with boots that had seen better days. She bit down on her lip from smiling when she fondly saw how long his hair had gotten as it tumbled to his shoulders in long waves. Both his ears were pierced with jewelry that was so punk that he looked a fashionable cross between Mick Jagger and Adam Ant. His features were so rugged and pronounced that it was clear that Hogwarts could no longer box this budding man in. He was bursting from the seams with predictions of extraordinary futures. Yet with a self-possession that was nearly intimidating, he sat with not a care in the world.

Not an eye strayed from Sirius Black.

She never realized that her face had melted from admiration to sorrow. Fern sadly peeled away from the Great Hall and took her rightful spot hidden in the Hufflepuff common room. But she also didn't realize that James Potter had witnessed her gazing at his best mate for nearly five minutes.

* * *

Author's note: Good lord, I haven't edited this one properly. Forgive and forget. + Comment.


End file.
